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Young, Female, Thelemite | Babalon and Me, Part 2

Babalon - Scarlet Woman

Babalon – Scarlet Woman

 

What does Babalon represent? How do I sing her praises, as it were, and what makes her stand out in my understanding of Thelema? From my own notes and ideas on this glorious Being I have come to a personal understanding of who she is. Whilst Thelema is a new path for me, and seeing how other women and men within this community have bonded together, I wanted to document my struggles with understanding my own femininity and skin, at least for this year anyway. For now I thought I would share the second part of my theory, which briefly outlines how I’ve come to know Her by knowing myself on a physical and mental (emotionally subjective) level.

One thing that does get me, which may come across as just a general moan, but when one reads about Babalon without reading the texts and digesting the information, people assume she represents just sex. I mean look at the image for this post, and then type in her name into Google or something and you’ll see sexual images of a naked lady, or members of the current red-headed brigade. All beautiful, all artistically powerful and thought provoking, but on a literal scale, it’s just naked women. I like to assume I have the eyes of a culture fan, someone who appreciates and understands art, so I don’t see anything pornographic in her. I see erotica on a small level, but I see what it she represents – liberation. The unfortunate issue with the lack of understanding symbology often means that people who are interested in Thelema, or new to it assume all female Thelemites’ are whores, which is totally untrue. Plus, on a personal note the word “whore” is getting old, and I genuinely do not care if I meet someone who loves a lot of sex, I love a lot of books. One fella commented on a photo asking if he were to become a Thelemite, would it mean he’d have women eagerly lining up to have coitus with him. My personal answer would be no (sorry pal, most of us ladies enjoy sex as we are liberated through Babalon, but our spidey-senses go crazy when a sleaze approaches *mic drop*). There is so much more to Her than her cup, and so much more to Thelema than just sex. I have yet to discover the other aspect of her personality as the Scarlet Woman (physical vessel as if were).

Babalon, with her most common understanding is the personification of the “liberated woman.” She represents that inner fire we are told to quell and control from a young age. Many, if not all popular religions don’t like the idea of change, or anything that could cause individualism. Those are seen as blasphemy and fearful. If a woman wants to write, let her write. If she wants more than one lover, let her. If a person, or woman, wants to delve into a deep passion that causes them happiness without harming another, let them. Why should they be stopped? These are the sort of questions and ideas I have written down on various pages when I rant about spending a few minutes with her. I know I have a passion for certain things in life, and I intend on running toward them, and at the same time I am coming into myself as I grow and that’s important.

When folks read and study texts concerning the other titles she is given such as “whore”, it causes a slight confusion. Why would you want to awaken that side of your mind if being open and liberated is frowned upon in today’s society? The names and words used to describe would make most people shudder with shock, and if given the chance to read something like Liber Samekh it would surely leave a horrid and bitter taste in the mouth – if you do read that book try not to go for the literal written words, try and ask yourself things like, “What do certain words actually mean?”. From my personal musings on this subject I have come to realise that politics and the philosophy of controlling female empowerment and behaviour was and still is a predominant ideology. Girls are taught from a young age how to live and behave, and anyone outside that is instantly labelled a “rebel”, “strange” or “whore” for preferring to listen to themselves instead. We are taught that the natural and uncontrollable elements of nature should be kept behind the curtains. I aim to continue listen to my intuition, that gut feeling, those almost inaudible whispers from my HGA, as well as being the curious individual I am. It shouldn’t have to take Babalon to show you that the most crude elements of societal expectations and magick to see how ridiculous it all truly is. Ra-Hoor help us if someone discovers they actually enjoy something as natural and frowned upon as masturbation. We are taught to dislike the natural elements of our body, and Babalon represents how we should stop contradicting ourselves, after all we are human. We are humans living a natural and spiritual experience. I acknowledge this, and like to share it with her.

As I’ve whined on both blogs a few times, I’m a very late bloomer, and I currently love and hate it. Whilst most people were having sex, flirting their way around a parking lot or having deep conversations over popular media trends my head was in books, writing or studying film, literature and magick. Whilst most pagan and occult folks were neck deep in drumming songs for meditation or performing sex magick with lovers, I was deepening my understanding of tarot and my position in the Universe. I will happily and openly admit I fear social situations and most people in general, so you can imagine the latter half of the last 26 years were spent in therapy and my house (thank god for the internet). It wasn’t until I started studying sex magick and Thelema two years back that I really had to stop and really listen to my body. I had to make the decision to start getting to know it better, on my own, before trusting anyone else. For those in the know, I have also managed to combine the whole “survivor mentality” to understanding my own liberation too, and it’s been quite rewarding. Trying to connect myself with the goddess was going to be a hard task, but I was determined to be with her.

Since then I haven’t done a great deal. Every now and then I’ll write up commentaries that relate to the first two texts I’d really studied in my early days, Liber Cheth vel Vallum Abiegni and Of Our Babalon, and of the The Beast whereon She Rideth. I’ve written the odd commentary on particular verses for my journal, and I like to keep my knowledge going when studying the Thoth Tarot. It’s important to me to keep studying the history of her existence, but also to read about how she was represented as the Scarlet Woman for ritual. When I’m not studying I like to assimilate my femininity with hers. I dedicate time with my yoni to her, and her other forms (Sekhmet and Nuit – just general female facets of the Universe) by drawing talismans or sigils in the air, or on my body, or visualising them when I’m in the heat of the moment, and finish by thanking myself. Like I mentioned in the previous post, She is in me, I in her, and so these precious moments remind me of her power on a smaller scale, and that makes me a whore of the Universe too.

I’ve only ever planned my ideal rituals, with her imagery as part of their makeup, but I have yet to meet someone who’ll love me the way I love myself. Until that day arrives I will continue to liberate myself mentally, physically and sexually. I won’t learn to feel the fire of freedom until I do. As for learning how to actually have sex, that’s for the other blog.

Sy


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Young, Female, Thelemite | Babalon and Me, Part 1

There are so many areas of politics that do not allow the female body to be seen, let alone worshipped, or her spirit honoured without some sort of advisory warning (#FreeTheNipple anyone?). So imagine an even smaller world within pagan and occult circles where such matters are seen equally, so long as it adheres to the guidelines set by modern beauty politics; light objectification of the female body (only ever between skinny and fat, never the inbetweens or “skinny-fat” like myself), European beauty standards on all levels of looks and personality (Isis is favoured because she is a mother, but make sure to cut out any major traits that simulate her with Egypt and Africa, and stick with lightening her skin tone, and definitely no Sekhmet because she’s wild and clearly “black”). But like most modern spiritual paths and religions, honouring the female, and obviously honouring myself, is slowly becoming accepted and expected. People are slowly coming to understand the true notion of duality, in nature, ourselves and in spiritual beings (deities, elements, nature etc). With the way people are being influenced daily it will be a while before a large number of us actually put duality into practice. So Babalon then? Where does she fit into my life? And how open can I be about my love for her? Let me think.

Babalon is Our Lady. She is a spirit, a force, an energy etc. something limitless and outside of time. Think of her as the female version of “God”. His equal, his counterpart, himself as a woman, the calm at the base of a fire, and the fuel at the same time. She is everything. She is in everything. She is half of one. In my head she represents the inner animalism and desire of the psyche. Think of the Thoth tarot, Atu XI Lust, that is her. She rides on the back of the seven-headed beast from Revelations (you can totally be a Christian Thelemite, trust me it’s a lot easier than you think), holding her Cup (there are many connotations of what the cup symbolises, but we shall stick with the womb and creation). She is the culmination of all human behaviour, good and bad, and she is freedom personified. See why she’s so highly celebrated amongst Thelemites?

If you remind yourself of Liber AL vel Legis, with the popular verse “there is no god but man,” one could easily assimilate the notion that if God is around, inside and outside of us, then so are other beings like Babalon. Babalon is, to me anyway, the personification of our psyches’ regardless of gender. She captures the Zeitgeist of ritual, and that warm and electric feeling when you’re on your own honouring yourself. She is that sacred place centred on the body, the yoni, that fire that draws on the linga.

My early awakening around who god was, and how it was to be perceived often centred around the pagan notion of the goddess —hence why the gods were ever present, my brain was clearly trying to teach me a model to apply equally later on. For years I could never connect myself with the goddess properly (according to the popular guidelines of separating humans from gods), but I had always been lucky in honouring her in my own private way. To me understanding the goddess meant understanding that I was also a goddess, a concept at the time that seemed kind of comforting and yet so otherworldly. I did not like the idea of separating genders nor separating the gods from who I was. Whilst most pagans would dance around a flowery circle screaming and singing the name of various goddesses, I was practising kundalini yoga by myself, I was teaching myself how to be more of a woman, and I was also enjoying loving myself. I wasn’t part of the group and I knew deep down that for the rest of my life I was never going to be. I learned to love myself by understanding the goddess and god.

But to add another theory, whilst women have a cup (with which we must fill or exercise often), men also have half of that mentally. How can you honour the god by ignoring that side of yourself? Same as how can you honour the goddess if you ignore that side too? Remember, Nuit cannot function without Hadit, and vice versa. (Just a theory guys, at this stage in my two year Thelemic career I am bound to fuck up!) Maybe then, that’s the reason why I’m such a weird kind of woman, on a quest to find love. I know it sounds strange or super juvenile but I want a linga to join my yoni someday, but for now Babalon is reminding me that I already have that push and that confidence I need to open up and love myself, by myself or with a partner. Bearing in mind Babalon is not all about sex or sexual activity, but more about the desires and the knowledge, and the freedoms that you wish to know, from the inside.

Imagine my surprise, after falling in love with Thelema when all of my “unconventional/clearly-not-part-of-the-circle-gang” practices were celebrated and allowed regardless of ethnicity and gender. Sure there’s Crowley and his annoying habit of being once being human (he’s a dead human now folks) with his likes and dislikes, his contradictory racism, and his secret love of painting black prostitutes when frequenting America (as far as I know only one painting remains out of the collection that he did), but there is more to Thelema than just the man who reminded us of this path. (Background information: Crowley didn’t quite invent Thelema, as it’s always been there for centuries, but he was responsible for ironing out the kinks and tying up loose ends). It’s such a lovely notion to think that even though I am “out-of-the-loop” within Thelemic circles, that some of my friends do remind me that I have Babalon inside too (you know who are, and I love you for that too). I have fallen for something that I see myself in, even if it’s under the surface.

Thelema has solidified my personal growth, whether it be through Liber AL vel Legis, Liber Oz or honouring Hadit and Nuit, or the other many things out there. Speaking with all kinds of women from the Thelemic world I have found two modes of thought: 1) Your gender doesn’t matter so much, Her inspiration lives within everyone and she reminds us of that drive to keep pursuing our dreams and desires, and 2) Even though you don’t fit current ideals, Balalon is there to be worshipped in all Her forms, regardless of her popular images. Honour her by honouring yourself. I know I definitely don’t fit Old Æon beauty ideals, let alone political ones, but within the Current flow I know I am Babalon, she is me, we are god, and so are you.

In nomine Babalon. As above, so below.

Sy

Babalon

Babalon – MisterChuck tagged me in this photo I was so pleased. I don’t feel left out within Thelema – not too much anyway.


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Not Racing To The Bedroom?

[updated 8/Apr/2012]

The benefits of celibacy, being strict or not, just saying no and just not connecting with the nether regions of other people can be very rewarding. Firstly, you become more aware of your being; who you are, what you like physically and emotionally, plus you can set up your boundaries. Secondly, you become more aware of other people, their attitudes and their likes and dislikes. Lastly, you learn that there are other things in life to worry about, some of the things you learnt pre-virginity like conversation and debate. These days, it seems that sex is the glue that holds people together, and personally, it shouldn’t be as sex in a well established relationship is the bonus point machine.

Like I mentioned in my previous post, this year I may flip my teachings’ on their head and explore sex in a more intellectual manner by reading, researching and taking notes on the attitudes of sex. Who knows what I’ll find? For now, for those of you who are unaware of the privileges on not part-taking in sex, let me share with you some experiences. Take into consideration that the vast majority of people I’ve met, including men, don’t react well when I tell them about my morals and feelings of sex. People look at me like some sort of sour lemon lady, and it baffles them even more when they realise I’m 23. (Apparently I come from another planet, as one guy told me).

I noticed after I decided I wasn’t going to be any guys’ friend, who my real friends were and who were not. Sounds simple, being able to differentiate but it wasn’t. I was naïve and I still am today. I was lonely, but I knew I had to be my own friend and just get on with life, and this was when I stopped sex. At first it didn’t bother me, then time crept on and saying no felt like an empty gun. The word no didn’t seem to have much force behind it so I needed to look at my reasons. Once I had worked them out, being spiritual and personal, I would often sit and contemplate the ideal scenario.

I went on a lunch date with a guy I met, and he was beautiful. The difference between him and I was the lead up to our first meeting and the 4 following meetings. I read books, kept up to date with fashion, the news and culture. I explored more areas of my spiritual path, paid bills, worked and talked with online friends about life. He, on the other hand had sex with 7 other women, received unsatisfactory oral sex from an unknown woman he met, paid off his new car and was deciding on a holiday with his mates. As far as I am concerned, he lived quite a full life but when we heard each other’s hobbies we both switched off and thought them boring. (Let me just ask, why is fashion boring? It’s not! Its art and the only method in keeping my legs warm, grr). When I told him I wouldn’t have sex until I was settled he laughed, poked my arm (O_o) and then noticed I was being serious. The look on his face summed his feelings up. He said something like the following, “oh. Are you serious? Well, that’s good, yeah… *cough* erm, I gotta go out for a second… Erm,” then he left to make a ‘phone call’.

I remember going to Brighton, as I did a lot in the 1st and 2nd year of celibacy to meet friends who studied at the university and they couldn’t believe I was abstaining. Their ideology was one of concern. One girl, who I shall call Holly*, and I had been one of those friends where we met on the internet and loved to email each other about everything. Holly and I went walking in the early evening around the North Laines just to get some air when she stopped me, mid flow of a conversation to ask why I had given up on love. I explained that I hadn’t, but I just saw sex as a sacred tool and I didn’t want to throw it around for the sake of fitting in or for an hour’s worth of non-emotional pleasure. She was even more concerned and I didn’t realise why until she explained that for someone like me, who has had nothing but bad luck with men, keeping the one thing used as my own advert locked away meant guys would misunderstand and perhaps hurt me more. I had not thought of that, and it stung like crazy. My love life, or the incredible lack of it, would be stifled. What one would now expect to do is drop it and find a date, yes? Well, I didn’t. I had a feeling there was someone out there with similar views and I was just going to hold off until I found them.

If I have the views I do, surely out of 7 billion people a handful would too? Right?

There were many benefits to abstaining from sex. It meant that each time I met a potentially new friend I could build up an intellectual bond with them, which meant they would be my friend (if they wanted) without the thought of sex. Sex was just out of the frame. Another benefit was the freedom and the lessons learnt. I found sex to be severely underrated and used in a manner that seemed selfish. Sex isn’t just a by product of passing time or competing with your friends, it’s a time of openly sharing your bits with someone other than your Dr or nurse. Who in their right mind would gladly walk around naked for the sake of it? Besides nudists, who do it to make a valid point. I have wobbly bits like any person, and abstaining from sex means I can focus on looking good, practising my speech and work out the kinks. In some way I’m polishing myself for the right moment, and it’s that thought that keeps me in line.

There are other reasons why I refuse sex, and what I didn’t mention (although I did mention it in a video now that I’m thinking about it) was I had non-consensual sex at 14 and it devastated my view on trust, friendship and men for a long time. It’s still something that sits in the back of my head each time I meet a new face, but according to my therapist, “accusing men of being a potential criminal is fine, but don’t let it out of your head and do not believe it, just be careful.”

I guess the main reason most people abstain from sex is to prevent their hearts or bodies from being hurt in any way, especially women. From a young age I finally realised, my life is mine and I shall live by my own rules, without following the herd. If you are still young, you should too. Realise that sex or your partner at this moment in time aren’t going to move you from one life stage to the next, enjoy what you have but realise we are all individuals with our own needs. Take time and work out what you want, and what they want. Everything will fall into place. Have faith.

Sy x

Just a quick note, Elle, Marie Claire, Glamour and Yoga Journal helped shape me into the mind conscious woman I am today, so check them out and you’ll see how amazing you can be. For the guys, GQ, Esquire and your sisters Elle are great too, according to a friend of mine 😛 [thanks Squid].

Related Content – this post was published after I wrote my one, but I read it and just had to link it here:

Celibacy and the Bodhisattva – SBPraxis


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Breaking Sexual Silence

This year will be an eye opener, or at least I hope it will be. Sex is not something I bring up, unless someone asks for my opinion or a way to challenge my religious views and ideas on it. Sex has four main functions in my book, 1) making love helps the bond between lovers much deeper, 2) making love brings about children, 3) sex is used as a method in helping time go by, which I do not see the common sense in and lastly 4) another way to keep your body clean and maximise the immune system (take heed in the danger of STIs!). My views on sex and love making (as I see them as two different aspects) may make me look like a prude, and I really don’t mind =]

Where do I start? My beliefs or the impact previous sexual antics have gotten me? I think I’ll take you back to the first time I had consensual sex. I was 16, it was a drunken night, and seemed to go on forever. As you can imagine, since that previous sentence was incredibly short, it was not life changing in anyway. Then I went on to meet a lovely guy who was a few years older than me who would sit and make me take notes on love, marriage and sex. He also popped my ‘porn cherry’, but the night he let me watch one of his films it was not sordid in anyway. Later he became a bedroom lover and I fell for him immediately. We would meet up, watch movies, gossip and geek over comic books every week and I fell even deeper for him. He was always kind hearted, always knew how to cheer me up when I was down but he had a wicked tongue that would lie to me often. Each time he said “We’re good friends aren’t we? Friends do things for each other no matter what,” I would allow myself to fall under his spell. From the outlook he looked like the perfect boyfriend, and as far as I was concerned he was. I was young remember, so the emotions were confusing, overwhelming and they couldn’t work with my head. I knew something wasn’t right with our friendship and I had to end it. I was just his play thing, and the thought of it made me sick. This was the first time I came to the conclusion that some men/women only want sex without the strings.

I had been single my whole life until I was 22. The thought if having children, buying a house and being married to a man who would love me was wearing thin. I don’t know what the future holds and maybe I could meet someone in time, but between now and possibly then the idea of sex and its connotations have been on my mind of late. I met my first boyfriend through Youtube (believe it or not) and we dated for 5 months. It was a good start for my love life as I built up communication and we would spend a lot of time just talking about things. It was hard some days as he lived in Belgium, and when I was having a bad day he wasn’t there to hug me. Now, he was my boyfriend and he cared about me and I cared about him so love making wouldn’t be a problem. That’s where the idea of love making comes in. It is something only couples with strings can do. One day once my heart has fully healed I’ll be open to another relationship, which will include love making. As long as I’m in a relationship, love making is fine but I need to know if they love me. However, sex between relationships is still shaky ground in my world and I’ll explain why.

When I was 20 I took up celibacy as a root within my spirituality, and one main path known as brahmacharya. This is one of the 8 spokes on the wheel or one of the 8 paths of the yogi. I’m not strictly celibate, as I have mentioned before that I would only have sex when I’m in a relationship. There are basic rules I follow and I make sure I stick to them at least, and one being the ability to say ‘no’. The words ‘no’ and ‘I want to know you better’ are sometimes a poisonous words for young people especially here, but learn to embrace them and I am sure you will smile. Without the thought of men on my mind I found I could concentrate more on other aspects. I developed a nice sense of awareness of my attitude, my body and my thoughts as well as that of other people. I would sit and listen to people talk endlessly about their partners and the people they had sex with outside of their relationships and it bored me. I didn’t think that they were whores or anything; I just figured they were misguided, bored and just sad. Everything they said would clog my brain and trying to keep up with the names became unbearable. I had to stop listening to them, and focus on other subjects in the world. When I first started studying the idea of brahmacharya I realised I wanted to connect to the world in other ways, which lead me to meditation, magick and free time to do whatever I wanted. This helped form friendships with a lot of people as they knew I was someone with high expectations and took morals deeply (and this helped me work out decent people from the not so decent). Sadly, I’ve not had much practice with guys but I’ve written up a small monologue that I will use each time I happen upon a sex mad individual wearing a ‘Mr. Nice Guy’ suit:

“Sorry I don’t like to have sex with anyone unless I’m in a relationship with someone, or with a friend where I know guilt will never creep on us.”

Or

“I’m celibate, sorry.” – Only if he is really odd.

My spirituality plays a huge role in my life, so why not have aspects of your spiritual life connected to your whole life? I cast spells, call quarters like any other witch but I take heed in the knowledge that I am a child of the Gods, and if I do my best to keep my world in good balance in Their Name, then why not respect my body in the same manner? Creating and understanding the common sense view of sex applies to me in that sense; I shan’t have sex just because everyone else is. My body is mine, and mine alone and who I chose to share it with is my decision. This year however, I’ll be more confident in saying no, and passing guys off, but I won’t be strict. It will be a bit of a challenge since men don’t even look my way, but if they do I want to make the effort to let them know I’m available for love making only. I’m sly like that. I want to have a guilt free love life, that’s all.

What are your thoughts on spiritual sex or the idea of general sex?


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Buddhist Lessons: Sex and Booze

I love this channel, the BuddhistSocietyWA. They are based in Australia so they are on my list of top places to visit. Their videos are so fundamental to the life and living for people from all spiritual backgrounds, and you can be an atheist and learn to love yourself more and how to take care of yourself too. I love their talks and lessons, and so far I’ve posted 3 or 4 of their videos on here! I’m a fan.

This video is really good, so watch it if you have an hour to spare =]

Dhammaloka Buddhist Society, WA - click


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My Life in Books: Shanghai Baby

Shanghai Baby by Wei Hui

This book had been banned in china when it was first published. Screaming women’s independence, sexual freedom and to put it lightly affairs of the heart. A very controversial story, but a must read. I remember looking up information on the book and the writer, and I found out that copies of the book were ordered to be burnt. Anyone caught with a copy was frowned upon and to think, it was only published a few years ago. The book was immediately broadcast as far too raunchy for such a modest country and time. With that kind of backlash I’m sure Wei Hui (way-way) partly expected a negative audience, but the bonfire was a far cry. The book was eventually published again, thankfully in English and various other languages.

I’m what I call a late developer, at least in the social context. I didn’t ask questions about my body when I was growing up, though I did ask a lot of questions on breasts as I didn’t have any until I was 15. Sex was a onetime thing that occurred quite dramatically when I was 14, and never again until I was 20. It never occurred to me that a woman/girl was supposed to ‘know’ her body. I just worried about my shoes fitting me and mourned the end of my running and sprinting days; growing pains for sure. I never had a boyfriend, I was friendly with the guys but that was due to being a super girly tomboy.

I was roughly 18/19 when i bought this book on a lunch day with an old pal. We went to MK to meet his girlfriend at the time for lunch. It so happened she was late so we browsed the shops until she called to say she had arrived. We went to HMV, which was where I found this book selling for £2. I didn’t have much money on me as it was a last minute outing. He called me at 8am and demanded I come with him for moral support; and by moral support he meant hold his hand whilst he went shopping for jeans. Anyhoo… I’m going on again…

I bought this book and read it from cover to cover within the space of 3 weeks, I take a while… it taught me so much about Coco; a young twentysomething living and working in Shanghai as a writer. She lives with her boyfriend Tian Tian, who is wrapped up in a world of depression, marijuana and ‘high-life’ parties. She spends her waking hours writing freelance, painting with Tin and spending enormous amounts of time alone. She delves into the world of self love, writing to turn her mind on and using her hands to love her body. She longs to be different, longs to live life differently but Tian Tian doesn’t know of love as he’s never performed. She risks everything for the love of writing and the passion she so desires. Along comes a spider; Mark, a German businessman.

I won’t go into too much detail but I felt sad when the book ended. I itched for a long time for a story like it and couldn’t find one. It’s a book I’ve read a good few times. A few weeks later I found out Wei Hui had written the conclusion or a sequel to Coco’s journey, picked up from the end of the last book. That book is called Marrying Buddha. At the start of every chapter there were motivational quotes that set you in the mood for the chapter you were about to read, and my goodness they inspired me. I couldn’t help but pick up my laptop and write like crazy.

Ladies, if you want a good coffee table read, this book is for you. Men, if you want to know how us women connect touch and emotion with everything we do, then read this!

There was a movie made a few years back, I believe in 2007, Coco was played by one of China’s most notorious sex symbols Bai Ling.

 

 


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I Crush A Lot!

Deary me… I crush a whole lot. I don’t check out a guy and start flirting… I’m a Trekkie who is slightly scared of men… (My bad) but the one thing I do, which can be a good or a bad habit is the fact that I can’t stop wearing my heart on my sleeve.

Picture the scenario, girl meets guy and he obviously isn’t all that interested but he can see a possible liaison later. Then you look at the girl… Dribble running from her mouth, eyes ogling from her head and her knees are holding her up whilst resting a flirtatious hand on his shoulder. He looks suave and she looks… Well…. Stupid yo!! Yep, that’s me! I am such a weak little gal and if he has a wonderful personality and the looks to boot, that’s a bonus! Haha!

I’m a very weird person…. Hence why I’m single!

So random but I thought I’d blog that… Guess its a loveable rant! Lol!!

Sy xXx

(Ps. I kinda like someone…. Lol! I’m gonna go drool…)