Have I Known All Along?

The more I study, and apply particular exercises and asanas with my own regimen, the more I realise that maybe I’ve been living my Will without actively noticing, or rather paying much attention to it? I’m sorry I’m so confused, and so many thoughts are rushing through my head about what I want to write, and what I shouldn’t and they are all becoming rather convoluted… Short-ish post today though.

Where's my head?!

I am studying the texts surrounding the HGA, but the more I do, the more I am confused I am about the process. I understand the HGA influences your life long before you are born, and I’ve always felt a strong desire to pursue certain goals, without really needing to attach other unnecessary options. The last few years have made it so my only focus is my life and living it well – the more I do this, the more lessons I learn, and the sharper my intuition has become. Maybe I’m just being silly, or maybe I’ve stumbled onto something, but I assumed the intuitive teachings/experiences I received in the past were subtle ways for my HGA to communicate with me. I’ve always known I had to keep in constant practice of cleansing myself through ritual in order to keep the line open. I’ve always known that if you happen to lose that connection, you wind up either having to start again or become stagnant; both of which aren’t too bad, considering it’s good to take a break once in a while, especially if you are vigilant with your daily routines during that time (a bit more is added below on this topic).

Looking back it seems I have been building my core up to become the vessel the HGA will eventually step into (does that make sense? It’s a weird day and I’ve got a headache from studying non-stop). My early days as a child witch have been the most profound as I knew something was guiding me, I just didn’t know what. The lessons and experiences I felt (some of which have left quite deep scars) have made me strong, and according to one friend I have embarked on the road to becoming that vessel. It’s nice to comprehend it, but I just feels strange not being able to fully understand it. Thelemites are taught rituals to not only cleanse the body, spiritual core and the sacred space but also to align yourself with your HGA. Over time, once you have learnt what you are supposed to, one of the most life changing ritualistic events will occur, which seeks to connect you directly with your HGA, who in turn will reveal things to you that only you will know. It’s a very personal and private moment – and some folks who have gone through this have described it as an initiation. Personally I cannot wait, but I need to understand the basics first!

I’ve always put trust into what I considered to be the Universe, and its little minion/teacher who has been with me all these years. It just becomes automatic, or second nature that I come across something and I’m nudged in that direction, but it isn’t until much later that I realise what has happened. Maybe I’m magickally slow? You could send me blessings and such and I won’t even realise unless you say so. Actually, no I think that’s just me in general :/



As for breaks, a few folks have written to ask for advice on falling out of practice, what I do personally is detox myself both spiritually and physically. I stick to performing daily rituals like the LBRP and asana meditation. Liber Resh and other rituals I follow are relaxed, for example I follow Regardie’s version of Resh (in my archives) instead of following the strict solar timing. I sometimes change my diet according to how my fitness levels are, but that’s not necessary for everyone! Make sure to JOURNAL everything! Cleansing rituals are to be done every day, regardless of how you feel. If you happen to be busy, fair enough. There were times when I would be busy with a patient and I couldn’t just stop and perform Resh. The idea of these rituals is not only to cleanse, but also to practice magick properly, and develop the ideal magician.

If I were still Wiccan I would cut out all spells, and only focus on daily devotions and constantly worshipping the Gods. I would observe the sabbats as usual, but on a quieter level.

I would follow a similar method for when I was a witch, except I would focus more on the spirit, so aligning myself (meditation, yoga etc) with the Universe, and cleansing my body by detoxing my diet, I would also cut out the practice of spells and such and only continue daily devotions, until I felt better.

These are just my ideas so don’t follow them wholeheartedly, just think of them as guides to adapt and develop your own.

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One Freaky Night: Sleep Paralysis Anyone?

Just a super quick post! I shall develop more as time goes on.

For the past few weeks I have been studying hard to better my personal lessons. The more I get to know myself, the better a witch I am. At the same time Mr. Vamp* has been helping me out quite a bit with recommendations, and helping me sort out the various correspondences according to Liber 777. On top of that, Thelema is fast becoming the major addition to my Hermetic path and I am learning fairly easily, but I can’t shake that feeling of being new. The moment I started practising magick, more than a decade ago, I never felt ‘new’ to it. It was something I knew about, so the only thing I had to focus on was hiding it until I was 18. Now, after all this time, this feeling has irked me.

One of the lessons I have been researching for years was the Lesser Banishing of the Pentagram aka LBRP. I had come across it several times in the past, but the terminology was so utterly confusing that I never bothered with it. The Hebrew itself is fine though, let me just point that out. I had never performed it until the other day. One friend said I should practice it when I feel comfortable, which was over a year ago, but Mr. Vamp stated I should try to perform it twice daily for a few months. I must admit, now that I have taken it seriously and worked hard on understanding its basic philosophy, I have pissed off the Mr. (Sorry!)

Let’s get to the seemingly quick part, which also happens to be a query: Have you ever chased away a being or entity during sleep paralysis?

I have experienced sleep paralysis a few times, and they are scary as you lose control and can’t move. I find that I breathe very deeply out of sheer panic. However, last night when my sleep paralysis came on, I found myself gaining control over my mind and mouth. I was able to repeat the lines below over and over, ever so quietly (due to being partly asleep and partly awake), whilst desperately trying to move my body. I noticed I was saying the arch angels name a little louder than the intended whispers and immediately felt calmer as my paralysis stopped within seconds. For the first time in a long time, I slept without the light on. (Just in case you are wondering, an entity has been in my room for the past few months – the rude one who rocks me in bed, and unfortunately for someone who sleeps in the dark, I have had to sleep with the light on. Not good).

“Before me Raphael;
Behind me Gabriel;
To my right hand Michael;
and to my left hand Uriel.”

So, without knowledge of the LBRP or those lines, I never would feel as amazing as I do. Have any of you learnt something that has awesome side effects?

I can imagine little entities crying, “Unclean! Unclean!” once one of the Arch Angels arrive.

Just thought I would share, and ponder!

Sy, x