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Inspired by John St. John | 1 Aug 2013

DAY ONE – THURSDAY 01/08/2013
Lughnadsadh and night of the Feast of the Stars

05:21 Morning Resh
Performed Resh at dawn, and realised I had another ten minutes before my alarm would go off. I sat on the bed in half lotus and performed a silent Mul mantra (check out Maya Fiennes video here). I finished on time feeling a lot more awake. I find performing either Resh or the dawn adoration and stretching really wakes me up to start the day. Everything seems calm and still. Time to get Resh for work and leave the house.

13:06 Midday Resh
Managed to perform the Resh in the staff toilets. Weird, I know, but with the job I have at the moment I don’t have the flexibility to just perform anywhere – patients need assistance all the time. No meditation or anything.

15:30 Finished Work and Training
Finished work for the day and felt damn hungry; in serious need for tofu, pasta and chilli. Grabbed a bag of jalapeños!

16:13 Kundalini Routine
I felt both tired and inspired to practice a yoga sequence, promising myself I would have a mug of chai and eventually have an early evening nap. Ended up practicing a normal warrior variation, then fire breath to open my body properly. Went to bed.

21:55 Failed the Evening Resh
I missed the Resh, but performed the normal adoration outside in the garden just to keep things in flow. I am quite tired, but I think it’s due to my work pattern. It really wipes me out at the best if times and I have to run around for fourteen-fifteen hours tomorrow. The next Resh is after one – set alarm.

23:07 Far too Tired
I performed the midnight adoration and climbed into bed. Need to save energy for work tomorrow; one horrible profession for sure.


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Regardie’s Four Adorations | My Regimen

lvx

Taken from Israel Regardie’s ‘One Year Manual

I have been practising this simple ritual for almost a month now, and so far it has kept me within a disciplined regimen. This is a more relaxed variation of Liber Resh vel Helios, which is the magickal attainment of the sun and Universe. You are supposed to carry out Resh at particular times during the course of the day, starting at dawn. You can find Resh times by finding the times when the sun is just dawning, at its highest point in the sky (around midday/noon), at sunset/evening and lastly when the sun is at its lowest point (around midnight). You can find the times on Google or at this Resh link, as each day the times may differ. Due to my hectic schedule, and the terrible onslaught of more unorganised work schedules I have to commit to the Four Adorations until September. Hopefully this may help you in some way. End each incantation with the sign of silence, which is the index finger over the mouth.

As far as ablutions and salutations are needed, refer to Liber O, others are given to you by a teacher as I found, but I’m not 100% on that either (Gosh I am amazing right?). I have written in red, the number for that relates to the pictures required for each adoration. (I may have this wrong, as I haven’t asked anyone for confirmation yet!)

*             *             *

In former great ages, man realized intuitively his relationship to nature and to the living universe in which he lived and was a part. He felt his unity with all the elements. In the fullness of his life he worshipped the Sun as a visible symbol of the unknown God in whom we live and move and have our being. It is axiomatic that light is life and both are dependent upon the Sun — which thus becomes a vital symbol of God.

In our modern scientific age of gadgets and things, with our unnatural way of life divorced from contact with the dynamic root of things, we may once more progress towards the full awareness of the source of life and love and liberty, we make ritual gestures of affirming a link between the Sun and ourselves. Upon the basis of these gestures of adoration, every act in life may be dedicated in such a way that living itself becomes sanctified and transformed.

Though God is a unity, the Sun, as a symbol of God, appears differently at each of its four daily stations — dawn, noon, sunset and midnight. Therefore an adoration is directed towards the Sun at each of these four stations.

At dawn, or upon arising, he should perform whatever abulations are customary and then turning towards the East, say audibly: (2, 3, 4 – signs of LVX: 7, 8, 9 and 10)

Hail unto Thee who art Ra in thy rising,
Even unto Thee who art Ra in thy strength,
Who travellest over the Heavens in Thy bark
At the Uprising of the Sun.
Tahuti standeth in His splendour at the prow
And Ra-Hoor abideth at the helm.
Hail unto Thee from the Abodes of the Night!

Much of the symbolism inherent in this simple adoration may be missed by the student for some considerable time. It does not matter just yet. But this should not be permitted to serve as an obstacle to daily practice, nor to deter him from adoring God in the form of the rising Sun every day of his life.

At noon, wherever he may be — at home, in the office, on the streets, or in a factory — let him adore God. It will help in some measure to bring God into his life. Face the South and say: (4)

Hail unto Thee who art Hathor in Thy triumphing,
Even unto Thee who art Hathor in Thy beauty,
Who travellest over the Heavens in Thy bark
At the Mid-course of the Sun.
Tahuti standeth in His splendour at the prow,
And Ra-Hoor abideth at the helm.
Hail unto Thee from the Abodes of Morning!

At the eventide, when the Sun goes down, let him face the West and adore the Lord of the Universe in these words: (2)

Hail unto Thee, who art Tum in Thy setting,
Even unto Thee who art Tum in Thy joy,
Who travellest over the Heavens in Thy bark
At the Down-going of the Sun.
Tahuti standeth in His splendour at the prow
And Ra-Hoor abideth at the helm.
Hail unto Thee from the Abodes of Day!

At midnight or upon retiring, turn to the North and say: (3)

Hail unto Thee Who art Khephra in thy hiding,
Even unto Thee who art Khephra in Thy silence,
Who travellest over the Heavens in Thy bark
At the Midnight Hour of the Sun.
Tahuti standeth in his Splendour at the prow
And Ra-Hoor abideth at the helm.
Hail unto Thee from the Abodes of Evening.

This particular practice should be made a regular part of everyday life and should be persisted in until it becomes a part of your way of life. Other exercises described here may be performed for limited or varying periods of time, but these particular Fourfold Adorations are to be integrated for all time into the daily pattern of living.

 

93, 93/93

 


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Book Reviews | Israel Regardie

Israel Regardie

Israel Regardie

Israel Regardie, is slowly becoming a beacon within the world of publishing and magick again. I couldn’t tell you how valuable his essays have been for my development within the last year, and even more so as the genius himself died in 1985. Like many writers, he is one those rare lights’ that doesn’t quite go out, and even years after they pass into the otherworld they still help to ignite their readers’ inner flame. I guess from my own understanding, and partly due to being introduced to him years back, and partly picking up his books last year for the first time, I felt he was a severely underrated writer and magician. A friend and student of Crowley for many years, one friendship I have recently discovered to be one of paramount respect and tension (like any true friendship is, at least in my world), Regardie went about teaching outsiders about magick, Qabalah and mysticism – sometimes with support, other times not so much (publication of the Golden Dawn series was a step too far according to Mathers). I love Regardie, and I often find his thoughts run parallel with my ‘yet-to-be-trained’ mind. It’s nice to know, my old ideas and theories have already been solidified thanks to his works – he comes from a line of distinguished magicians, similar to my training as a witch, and that has helped me pull on the most important aspects of my past to a head. The post of my theory of black magick (two or three posts back) actually stemmed from my old journals and his Tree of Life, and boy did it cause issue – to be fair, a lot of the feedback I got, especially on Tumblr was incredibly positive, so it stays.

I have recommended Regardie to a lot of my friends and followers from all paths, whether they are pagans, occultists, witches, Qabalists’, yogis or atheists etc. Most of them have come back to me and said how wonderful his teachings are, simple, mind blowing and practical. I couldn’t agree more. A few have been honest and said they only took aspects of his theories whilst disregarding the rest of the titles, stating they don’t think he is their cup of tea as far as their magick is concerned. He is open, honest and straight talking – maybe that’s just the Londoner in him, we don’t keep unnecessary shit. Some of his theories and claims can shake the reader, but in a beautifully crafted and positive manner. They way he writes can be exhausting to those who don’t have a great use of wider vocabulary, but you should be able to get the gist once you start reading. He has helped me see the world differently as a practitioner.

Now, I’m not sure what other people think of him, that is down to them and their reasoning’s, but I have been cornered a few times about my ideas, theories and practices by strangers and folks close to me, but if there is one thing that has kept my backbone strong it’s magicians like Regardie, Valiente, Mathers and Crowley who have taught me a lot. If their magick and theories worked for them, they may work for me too. They weren’t considered controversial or thought provoking for nothing! Clearly.

Over the next few days I will publish short reviews of the titles I have, the first one ‘Garden of Pomegranates’ will be published within an hour or so. Enjoy =]


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Finally Coming My Way

Yesterday I went to an interview at my first choice university application, and it went well!

I went to bed the night before, with my bags backed, feeling nervous and checking the battery life of all of the technology I was taking. I double and triple checked forms, letters and maps. Made sure the money I needed was in the right purse (I am a bit of a fashion fan, as I am sure you are aware due to TheHarlequinDays). I had to calm myself down, so I sat and meditated by my altar holding my uncut Thoth tarot, and promising I would pull a card the day after my interview. I don’t know why I didn’t just pull cards then, but I guess my nerves got the better of me. I had been to another interview the Saturday gone, and I felt fine. This choice is my first choice, so you can imagine the freak out.

Yesterday was amazing though, and the interview was a great test of my character and mind. We were given small exercises to do concerning the analysis of several poems and understanding Cant. At the end of the interview I was informed it would be a few days before I would hear anything back, and with that I left. We left Leicester city around half 3, arriving back home within the hour, and my phone was going crazy. I finally switched the kettle on, and leant on the counter to read all the incoming emails, two of which were from UCAS and the main university of choice. I started to get excited again and I clicked each message, and to my surprise I was informed that they loved my interview and were giving me an official offer for a place on the course. I hit the roof! I laughed to myself and couldn’t resist posting my delight to Facebook and Twitter. I called my mum and she was happy too, screaming, “WHAT!” down the line. I should try to remember not to have the phone on loud speaker when calling her…

This morning I woke up at my usual time to do ritual and have a big bowl of Crunchy Nut. I remembered that I needed to cut a card to focus on for the coming months leading up to this summer, and funny enough I pulled the Hanged Man card. Instead of reading the card the way I was trained, I sought the Thoth Tarot Book to see what Crowley would suggest. To be honest, this book is new and I’m still getting to grips with it, but I’ve been reading cards since I was a pre-teen so my definitions’ are similar, but not so deep in occult wisdom or Qabalah. So, assuming you all know the Hanged Man, here is a small part of that definition:

“This card, attributed to the letter Mem, represents the element of Water. It would perhaps be better to say that it represents the spiritual function of water in the economy of initiation; it is a baptism which is also a death. In the Aeon of Osiris, this card represented the supreme formula of adeptship; for the figure of the drowned or hanged man has its own special meaning. The legs are crossed so that the right leg forms a right angle with the left leg, and the arms are stretched out at an angle of 60° so as to form an equilateral triangle; this gives the symbol of the Triangle surmounted by the Cross, which represents the descent of the light into the darkness in order to re deem it. For this reason there are green disks-green, the colour of Venus, signifies Grace-at the terminations of the limbs and of the head. The air above the surface of the water is also green, infiltrated by rays of the white light of Kether. The whole figure is suspended from the Ankh, another way of figuring the formula of the Rose and Cross, while around the left foot is the Serpent, creator and destroyer, who operates all change.” – Book of Thoth Tarot, Crowley

The moment I read the first few lines I just thought, “What is my HGA up to? Why is life suddenly working out for me? Yay!” That made me smile. I know now, this will be the ultimate test to stay focused, grounded and not to spend my time worrying. Phase one of my life is most definitely coming to ahead. Finally.

hanged

Other than that, I have finally found somewhere to live and i can save money between now and September. For the awesome Thelemites’ and OTO members who have been helping me out with my spiritual studying, Thank you! I’m being introduced a wide spectrum of the occult world and its all flooding through my gates quite happily. I’ve been asked to study both OTO and AA student books, and so far they have been mind blowing. Eventually I shall sort my spiritual life out, or at least make it official and I shall have started Phase One for sure.

Thanks for the support folks. These last few weeks/months have been okay, but not great. Knowing me, I don’t like opening up about my feelings too much, and now realising that people I thought were friends don’t and will not approach me about anything anymore. I have realised I’m not everyone’s cup of tea (trust me, it has been 5 years already), and seeing as it has taken me this long to understand I’ll never be part of the ‘in-crowd’, I have decided I won’t be. I’m going to be myself, be smart and be brave, regardless.

Those of you asking when I’ll return to Youtube, I shan’t for a while, but hopefully a month or two once my head and heart are sorted. When I do come back I would like things to change for the better, as I’ll be happier sitting outside the circle and I won’t have to fear trolls or old friends letting me down. I’ll be there for me, and any future friends. My videos seem to stop a lot of people from conversing with me, and that is a shame as I put my heart and soul into reaching out, and for memories sake (my mind right now is proving that I’m getting older). Like people have told me, “Screw it Sy, do it for you. The right people will come along, form friendships with you and they’ll stay.”

Smile.

yogalift

Sy, x x


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The God, The Witch and the HGA

The one thing I have always felt protective of, and prideful of, was my relationship with the Divine. I’ve always had an intimate connection with God and always will; in fact, it was that connection which drove a split in my first ever relationship. The one thing that bugged me was why this connection meant so much, and why it would tug on my heart strings like it did. I needed to find out how the Gods would interact with me, and why they chose me.

Growing up in the family unit I did was pretty typical. We went to church or synagogue on Saturdays, shunned bacon eating people who worshipped on Sundays, and made sure that our connection to a big white guy in the sky was direct and shared. For some reason, the images of Jesus never resonated with me. I never understood how he was the biological son of the Christian God, but nonetheless I had to follow what my family insisted. It must be an old British thing, “Children must be seen and not heard.”

I used to have alone time to reflect on things, or if I was bad I was “sent away to think about what I had done,” into my aunts room. She is a very classy lady, only expects the best. Designer things everywhere, but she was a strict and modest matron, who ran things like the God fearing woman you witness in old Victorian novels. There were images of Jesus everywhere. Jesus on the cross; Jesus surrounded by thorny roses, and even Jesus sitting on a rock surrounded by children. I would often hope or wonder, if I stared at these images long enough he would jump out and bitchslap me for being a naughty girl. He never did, and that sparked my interest in who he was as a person and Gnosticism. I should say, my idea of Jesus being the son of God is a little strange because I believe he was a witch in his own right, one of the early Hermeticists (without realising) and I also believe his mother was told she was going to have a child of great importance as far as spiritually and enlightenment goes. In that sense, everyone who is willing to ditch conventional religions and give up being a slave to these man made and “access-only-through-mechanical-means” religions is a child of the Universe. (Obviously if you can find like minded friends like Jesus and Buddha, even Mathers and Crowley did, never let them go!) live free.

*ahem*

I found witchcraft a few years later… (I think 2 years later? I have a funny feeling this all happened that year I fell down Dunn’s River Falls… I’m pretty sure I was 9?), meh. I did all the typical things any budding academic witch did. I collected information from early websites and bought books after weeks of saving my pocket money, but believe it not, the one area that has been the easiest skill, never seemed important at the time. That skill or gift was being able to equate myself with deity. It was a few years before I even worked out a way to let deity into my life, without the use of magick. I guess those early years could be seen as my theoretical and lazy days. Some years later my bond with God grew to volumes I didn’t expect, and it has been an intimate journey since.

I fell into studying Buddhism, which lead me to understand that I needed to look within to find myself, but mostly to find my inner Buddha. What hit me almost straight away, was the notion that the Gods resided within me and within everyone else. The whole idea of connecting yourself to the Universe (thanks to yoga!) just made God seem more like the life essence that actually lived and vibrated in everything within and outside the universe. For me that meant God wasn’t a big guy in the sky, it was my heart, my finger, my breath. The grass, the trees, the puppies and the tiny molecules holding ice together. I guess, I’ve always looked to the Gods for inspiration and lessons, but my greatest lesson so far has come in the form of my HGA.

Now, I haven’t made actual contact with my HGA, or at least I don’t think I have. I didn’t even understand what one was until a few years ago. Just a reminder for the newer Thelemites out there, (I’m a beginner too), the Holy Guardian Angel is the angel we are all born with, it’s our higher self, rather than a literal angel with wings. It’s with us our whole lives, and it even plans what your personality and outcome in life will be, long before you were even fertilised. Think of it as The Fates little workers who reside with us. Your HGA (from what I gather so far) also guides you with any Magickal endeavour you do, and help you use and understand your consciousness and subconscious sides. You don’t even have to be Magickal to find it.

The other day I was sharing my most recent ideas with Mr Vamp about a ritual I am currently updating, but also to check my progress as a student. I told him how I believed that my HGA would come to me in many forms over the years, and I hadn’t realised how or why until now. At first it was Cernnunos, with his constant lulling in dreams, wanting me to follow him and understand where he came from. He was the first fertility deity who made me understand the non-literal side to magick. I found myself questioning if fertility also meant something else, rather than just baby making and gardening. What did fertility mean? I quickly summed up that fertility meant growth, whether it be spiritual growth, Magickal growth or academic growth. He came at a time when I needed him most, a time when I was growing up too fast, but he held my hand through it. I kept my head in books and took daily life and it’s struggles the best I could.

When I was fertile enough, he gently slipped away and sent me into the world of ancient Egyptian, Roman and Greek paganism, where I formed more bonds with deities over there. As most of you know, the most prominent were Sekhmet, Anubis, Apollo, Ra and Zeus. All of which I still work with today! More than anything, like Jesus, I didn’t see them for the beings they were, I saw them as facets of my HGA, elements of my being, lessons I needed to learn. I believe all this time, that the Gods came to me with the help of my HGA, sort of like a personal assistant or publicist, making sure only the correct deities cane into my life at valuable moments. That’s what made my magick raw and pure; I made it a personal mission to understand the base understanding of The Ultimate One, that drove me into the world I’m in now. I still remember that first spiritual ascension or initiation. When I feel good, bad or Magickal I only need to look inside, and draw in the extra forces from outside. The Universe may be big and mind blowing, but It left a part of itself in us. We only need to tap into it to see.

That’s also what helps me reaffirm my pantheist views. If any of you can get get hold of the preface to Alice Walker’s The Color Purple you’ll catch a glimpse of what life was like for me, and many folks around the world.

Sorry it’s so bloody long!!!


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A Part of Aleister Crowley’s Many Essays

“But it so happens that everything on this planet is, ultimately, irrational; there is not, and cannot be, any reason for the causal connexion of things, if only because our use of the word “reason” already implies the idea of causal connexion. But, even if we avoid this fundamental difficulty, Hume said that causal connexion was not merely unprovable, but unthinkable; and, in shallower waters still, one cannot assign a true reason why water should flow down hill, or sugar taste sweet in the mouth. Attempts to explain these simple matters always progress into a learned lucidity, and on further analysis retire to a remote stronghold where every thing is irrational and unthinkable.

If you cut off a man’s head, he dies. Why? Because it kills him. That is really the whole answer. Learned excursions into anatomy and physiology only beg the question; it does not explain why the heart is necessary to life to say that it is a vital organ. Yet that is exactly what is done, the trick that is played on every inquiring mind. Why cannot I see in the dark? Because light is necessary to sight. No confusion of that issue by talk of rods and cones, and optical centres, and foci, and lenses, and vibrations is very different to Edwin Arthwait’s treatment of the long-suffering English language.

Knowledge is really confined to experience. The laws of Nature are, as Kant said, the laws of our minds, and, as Huxley said, the generalization of observed facts.

It is, therefore, no argument against ceremonial magic to say that it is “absurd” to try to raise a thunderstorm by beating a drum; it is not even fair to say that you have tried the experiment, found it would not work, and so perceived it to be “impossible.” You might as well claim that, as you had taken paint and canvas, and not produced a Rembrandt, it was evident that the pictures attributed to his painting were really produced in quite a different way.

You do not see why the skull of a parricide should help you to raise a dead man, as you do not see why the mercury in a thermometer should rise and fall, though you elaborately pretend that you do; and you could not raise a dead man by the aid of the skull of a parricide, just as you could not play the violin like Kreisler; though in the latter case you might modestly add that you thought you could learn.

This is not the special pleading of a professed magician; it boils down to the advice not to judge subjects of which you are perfectly ignorant, and is to be found, stated in clearer and lovelier language, in the Essays of Thomas Henry Huxley. ”
― Aleister Crowley

I looked at this from a Hermetic point of view, where you are open to theories, ideas and concepts yet you are able to shut them off. A sort of Middle Way for magicians and philosophers. I have studied the works of Huxley and Kant, along with Descartes. Beautiful stuff! But very weird to understand at first. Hope you enjoyed it 🙂

Sy, x

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