Leave a comment

Young, Female, Thelemite | Babalon and Me, Part 1

There are so many areas of politics that do not allow the female body to be seen, let alone worshipped, or her spirit honoured without some sort of advisory warning (#FreeTheNipple anyone?). So imagine an even smaller world within pagan and occult circles where such matters are seen equally, so long as it adheres to the guidelines set by modern beauty politics; light objectification of the female body (only ever between skinny and fat, never the inbetweens or “skinny-fat” like myself), European beauty standards on all levels of looks and personality (Isis is favoured because she is a mother, but make sure to cut out any major traits that simulate her with Egypt and Africa, and stick with lightening her skin tone, and definitely no Sekhmet because she’s wild and clearly “black”). But like most modern spiritual paths and religions, honouring the female, and obviously honouring myself, is slowly becoming accepted and expected. People are slowly coming to understand the true notion of duality, in nature, ourselves and in spiritual beings (deities, elements, nature etc). With the way people are being influenced daily it will be a while before a large number of us actually put duality into practice. So Babalon then? Where does she fit into my life? And how open can I be about my love for her? Let me think.

Babalon is Our Lady. She is a spirit, a force, an energy etc. something limitless and outside of time. Think of her as the female version of “God”. His equal, his counterpart, himself as a woman, the calm at the base of a fire, and the fuel at the same time. She is everything. She is in everything. She is half of one. In my head she represents the inner animalism and desire of the psyche. Think of the Thoth tarot, Atu XI Lust, that is her. She rides on the back of the seven-headed beast from Revelations (you can totally be a Christian Thelemite, trust me it’s a lot easier than you think), holding her Cup (there are many connotations of what the cup symbolises, but we shall stick with the womb and creation). She is the culmination of all human behaviour, good and bad, and she is freedom personified. See why she’s so highly celebrated amongst Thelemites?

If you remind yourself of Liber AL vel Legis, with the popular verse “there is no god but man,” one could easily assimilate the notion that if God is around, inside and outside of us, then so are other beings like Babalon. Babalon is, to me anyway, the personification of our psyches’ regardless of gender. She captures the Zeitgeist of ritual, and that warm and electric feeling when you’re on your own honouring yourself. She is that sacred place centred on the body, the yoni, that fire that draws on the linga.

My early awakening around who god was, and how it was to be perceived often centred around the pagan notion of the goddess —hence why the gods were ever present, my brain was clearly trying to teach me a model to apply equally later on. For years I could never connect myself with the goddess properly (according to the popular guidelines of separating humans from gods), but I had always been lucky in honouring her in my own private way. To me understanding the goddess meant understanding that I was also a goddess, a concept at the time that seemed kind of comforting and yet so otherworldly. I did not like the idea of separating genders nor separating the gods from who I was. Whilst most pagans would dance around a flowery circle screaming and singing the name of various goddesses, I was practising kundalini yoga by myself, I was teaching myself how to be more of a woman, and I was also enjoying loving myself. I wasn’t part of the group and I knew deep down that for the rest of my life I was never going to be. I learned to love myself by understanding the goddess and god.

But to add another theory, whilst women have a cup (with which we must fill or exercise often), men also have half of that mentally. How can you honour the god by ignoring that side of yourself? Same as how can you honour the goddess if you ignore that side too? Remember, Nuit cannot function without Hadit, and vice versa. (Just a theory guys, at this stage in my two year Thelemic career I am bound to fuck up!) Maybe then, that’s the reason why I’m such a weird kind of woman, on a quest to find love. I know it sounds strange or super juvenile but I want a linga to join my yoni someday, but for now Babalon is reminding me that I already have that push and that confidence I need to open up and love myself, by myself or with a partner. Bearing in mind Babalon is not all about sex or sexual activity, but more about the desires and the knowledge, and the freedoms that you wish to know, from the inside.

Imagine my surprise, after falling in love with Thelema when all of my “unconventional/clearly-not-part-of-the-circle-gang” practices were celebrated and allowed regardless of ethnicity and gender. Sure there’s Crowley and his annoying habit of being once being human (he’s a dead human now folks) with his likes and dislikes, his contradictory racism, and his secret love of painting black prostitutes when frequenting America (as far as I know only one painting remains out of the collection that he did), but there is more to Thelema than just the man who reminded us of this path. (Background information: Crowley didn’t quite invent Thelema, as it’s always been there for centuries, but he was responsible for ironing out the kinks and tying up loose ends). It’s such a lovely notion to think that even though I am “out-of-the-loop” within Thelemic circles, that some of my friends do remind me that I have Babalon inside too (you know who are, and I love you for that too). I have fallen for something that I see myself in, even if it’s under the surface.

Thelema has solidified my personal growth, whether it be through Liber AL vel Legis, Liber Oz or honouring Hadit and Nuit, or the other many things out there. Speaking with all kinds of women from the Thelemic world I have found two modes of thought: 1) Your gender doesn’t matter so much, Her inspiration lives within everyone and she reminds us of that drive to keep pursuing our dreams and desires, and 2) Even though you don’t fit current ideals, Balalon is there to be worshipped in all Her forms, regardless of her popular images. Honour her by honouring yourself. I know I definitely don’t fit Old Æon beauty ideals, let alone political ones, but within the Current flow I know I am Babalon, she is me, we are god, and so are you.

In nomine Babalon. As above, so below.



Babalon – MisterChuck tagged me in this photo I was so pleased. I don’t feel left out within Thelema – not too much anyway.


Building a Better Yoga Regimen | Chakra Glory

The last few weeks have been quite insightful, as many of you know I’m building a fairly flexible magickal hygiene regimen. Now that I’m at university, it means I can allocate time to continue the LBRP and Regardie’s variation of Liber Resh (which is exactly the same, but without the strict solar times at all four points of the day; you can read it here). University life is busy, and my course is amazing so far. So many opportunities’ are waiting, and I also have a lovely amount of writing to do – which is perfect! Before I go off track, today’s post will build up over time, cascading across various posts as I build upon more knowledge and practice. It will centre around yoga, or rather the systems of yoga I adhere to, with a Thelemic edge – in the sense that I am referring to Crowley and Frater Achad’s ideas and practices with their own personal techniques. My studies with Thelema have pushed me back into Kundalini, with a deep focus on mantra yoga and chakra cleansing.

There are tons of ideas, conspiracies’ and rumours about Kundalini, as to why one should never practice it, but I for one am going to suggest you meet it face-to-face for yourself and ignore the preposterous crap out there. There are various forms of yoga that I would personally recommend, but for those of you wanting to read up on the spiritual side, seriously check out Swami Vivekananda, as well as Crowley.  One area that has always fascinated me were chakras. A lot of people around the world, and inside the spiritual community can read a book on the seven chakras from a New Age perspective and run around with a badge that says “Official Chakra Healer” – or something to that degree. I personally like to avoid those people, as I feel we all need to create a personal connection with what we should educate ourselves on. I like hearing other opinions, but I’m a stubborn brat – If I don’t study it for myself, there is no way in hell I’ll understand properly by attempting to feel it with your hands. The seven chakras need attention, but so do the many other areas of the body and psyche – and in order to experience this process fully I needed to do some good old research!

Looking at my personality I find I am a sensitive soul – that will never change according to my sidereal birth chart (moon in Leo for any sidereal astrologers out there) – and unfortunately I have a great sense of pride, loyalty and almost royal expectations from the people I meet. I am also a complex person, with the inability to connect with other human beings very well, even though I do try. My heart is sensitive – as I am an extremist with a desire to find love, yet I don’t trust people on a general level. Just in case you didn’t quite catch that, I’m a romantic reject, but a loveable and loyal friend until my anxiety shows me treason. Those are areas I need to work on for the betterment of my life, which is where the “highly spiritual,” element comes in – I have always had the ability to connect to the forces of the Universe very easily, and it has always been the one place I go when I need to detox, not just spiritually but physically too. I need to work on balancing my heart and head chakras, but I’m going to focus on building up a yoga routine around meditation in particular asanas’.

It won’t be easy – physically or emotionally, but the psychological effects will be most astounding. I guess, yoga in its most materialistic form is more than just connecting yourself to the Universe, or cleansing (which is similar to the Middle Pillar and LBRP exercises), it is about awakening. Awakening yourself spiritually, and more importantly waking yourself up and have a long hard look at yourself. People tend to go off on a tangent when practising asanas at the gym or assuming the spiritual life – they often forget themselves whilst running around trying to help others. There comes a point when all your focus becomes stagnant, or on the other hand, you are so full of energy that you eventually combust on yourself. I know a lot of people who do this, and I do it too, it’s called life. Buddha taught his followers about the Middle Way – a simple way to look at the two extremes in your life and work out how you should walk down the middle with ease. In this sense, I’m going to start formally practising my theory on yogic chakra work with the heart chakra. The heart chakra is built up of 7 main “mini chakra points” – each point is connected to various areas of the body, but the main chakra has 12 petals with their own functions. The heart chakra is the centre of the normal 7 points – and often it’s the chakra that is forgotten (unless you are a yogini or yogi). Most people want spiritual attainment and the ability to ground, when the heart chakra can do both at the same time. Believe me, you can’t find balance until you actually meet him.


Leave a comment

Day 1# – 108 Days of Meditation: My Beginning

I have been getting a number of emails already from folks who are a little confused about my meditational absence, so in a more understandable way, below is my schedule. It’s a little tight, but I need to be strict with my mind and my body. As far as food goes, I’ll be totally normal as I know of some people who limit what they eat in order to fully submerge themselves into some sort of spiritual self discovery. The Buddha tried this… and it didn’t work, hence how he found the Middle Way. I’ll be as normal as I need to be when it comes to work, family and friends, though I’ll do my best to keep myself spiritually connected by reading spiritual material when I want something to read.

Day 1 to Day 108 – Mantra/Meditation/Yoga (either/and/or – I won’t do them all unless I feel like it, but if I don’t feel like doing meditation, I’ll do yoga etc.)

My Holy Days will be celebrated as normal, as I follow a variation of the Kemetic calendar and a variation of the Wiccan Sabbats.

I’ll be writing loads too, so bare with me and the lack of contact.

Contact – What You Need To Know

As I’ll be limiting my contact for the first few days or weeks, don’t be afraid to email me etc. I’ll email you back, but I’ll do it asap! I’m still talking to people, but I’ll spend the first few weeks just listening to the Gods.

YouTube: Email me, add me and comment as usual. I haven’t got around to my channel comments as I forget easily due to my lack of visitation to my channel.

Facebook: Email me, comment on my wall etc – it will take a while before you get a reply. Any articles I find online will be shared via Eclectic Minds for all those interested. You are better of finding me here.

Twitter: I’ve banned myself from tweeting nonsense for the entire period, though quotes will pop up, blog updates will be tweeted automatically and any videos I like or upload will be added to.

Thank you all for the support and your kindness toward me. I’m learning something about myself, which is helping a lot with my confidence. Who knows what the Gods have in store for me? Whatever it is, I’m totally open to them.

Namaste, Blessed Be and Em Hotep!

Leave a comment

My Connection To Deity (videos… may be long =])

Basically… they run in order, I thought they were really cool (the responses not my vids), I’ll do a blog at some point to get this subject more indepth or I’ll keep it for the book =] Enjoy!

The cool responses so far =]




How do you connect? Comment here or on my youtube =]

Em Hotep x


Buddhist Witch (brief explin.)

If I had to use a label to attach to myself, I’d go by a Yogic Witch or Buddhist Witch or a Kemetic Buddhist Witch or Pagan… etc. But I don’t like labels much as they cause a whole lot of confusion and when you mention a label to other people there is a lot of ‘others tuff’ that is automatically associated with it. Don’t get me started on the devil worship crap that you would get if you’re a Wiccan or a practising witch. Not all labels are negative though, especially when the term Buddhist comes into play. Most people see Buddhists as world folk who are really in tune with life, life’s mysteries and deity. I went to pick my sister up from school once, and I overheard a woman say to another mother, ‘I’d prefer a Buddhist to look after my child as they are more human than most…’ I’m not entirely sure what the conversation was about, though I did pick up something about childminders and interviews, but I liked what she said. I had a quick look at my old dairies to see when I got my first book on Buddhism and it was way back in March 2007! Woop!

I’ve been reading a ton of books on Zen Buddhism (Tibetan) and books on how to better understand the bodhisattva, The Precepts, The Eight Fold Path and the Four Noble Truths. The only temple I know of is in Brighton but there are a few places in London that I hope to visit one day. Along with Eastern religion and philosophy I found lots of connections with Roman, Greek and Egyptian teachings, such as The Knots of the Heavenly Kine (Coffin Texts, Spell 407, Faulkner) which are energy points on the body that one has to charge with the universe through meditation. TKHK have been seen as the basis of the Hindu Kundalini-yoga chakra points. I’m a Yoga lover too, so when I came across the connection between Buddhism to Yoga (Kundalini) and then onto Hinduism I knew that spirituality was endless and boundless. I’m now able to link Yoga, Buddhism, Kemeticism, Hellenism, Paganism, Judaism and Hinduism but still practise Witchcraft.

As far as history goes and as far as I’m concerned I’m basing my spirituality on the world, quite literally. I don’t mind what I learn or where it’s from; I just want to feel human after learning it. That’s means accepting the good, the bad, and the strange. That’s the beauty of life.

So, what about you folks?

Buddhists Praying