I’m Not Crazy After-all | Hidden Wisdom Lecture

I was sent a link about Tim Wallace-Murphy’s book ‘Hidden Wisdom: Secrets of the Western Esoteric Tradition’, which I have put in my Amazon basket already. It is such a lovely lecture, presented by an equally lovely man. He goes into a lot of detail about the esoteric traditions and their roots, ranging as far back as the Ancient Egyptians, Ancient Greeks/Romans with information on the Knights Templar and symbology. However, for this post I am only going to pull out one or two areas that rung true to me, or at least got me thinking.

Watch the lecture here, it’s a must see!

It is the ideal lecture on understanding where your magickal teachings come from. More than anything, I picked up early on about the difference between religion and spirituality, in which he stated and agreed with an old friend that religion is man-made, whilst spirituality is natural and free. I have always thought this, and deep down I knew I was spiritual, and always felt akin to my spiritual friends. I was pretty much alone in my early theories, arguing back and fourth with religious people from all walks of life, whether it was Christians, Wiccans and most recently, a handful of Thelemites. They all pretty much said the same thing, “You need religion to get on in life. You can’t have spirituality without religion.” Which I have disproved so many times; I am living proof. On the other side, when I say that I believe esoteric traditions to be more spiritually grounded, people have often told me I am wrong too. Exempli gratia, witchcraft is spirituality, Druidry and Thelema are considered religions with a direct link to spiritual purity, and so I would categorise them as being ‘Spiritual Religions’. As much as I dislike the word religion, I use it to emphasise the difference between freedom and structure (or doctrine). What has me perplexed is the fact that something like Thelema, which is a religion, clearly teaches you that in order to be spiritual you must go out and seek that natural water for your own heart, which is a spiritual notion, so I can’t think of Thelema as a religion all the time. Thelema is too beautiful and life affirming to have a dirty word like “Religion’ bestowed on it? Am I crazy? I can feel the crazy looks…

It is nice to know that my theories aren’t all hokum after all. Guru Jonboi (haha) would agree with me, on the grounds that spirituality and religions are two different things. Thinking back to the first phone call we had when we spoke about their differences, listening to what he was saying sent warmth down my spine; everything he said, was almost word for word coming from my mind. It felt great. To this day we still read from the same page, regardless of where we are spiritually. He leans more to the Eastern philosophies, whilst I roam the wilds of the Ancients.

Later on Wallace-Murphy goes into detail about the early Ancient Egyptian influence on the creation of Judaism. I came across a few similarities and arguments during my research and practice days. I often looked up the beginnings of The Emerald Tablet, The Kybalion and its inspirations, Kemeticism and the famed Hermes Trismestagus who could have been Moses. It’s fascinating information I tell you. It makes me think up new possible theories, but I have taught myself not to say anything out loud to people in case I am stomped on by a hundred angry men (that’s why I write on my blog, only a few eyes read it, so I can get away with it! :P).

I have always felt proud of where I was going, knowing I was right all along. All of the lessons, paths and practices I have adopted are spiritual without a doubt, and to top it off, they all fall under Hermetic practises, and Thelema most certainly. As I have mentioned a few times, my spiritual life in the last 13 years has grown, and I have only dropped Wicca, the Wiccan Rede and the minor Celtic traditions as the religious aspect of my search for a religiously spiritual home. Everything else has stayed firmly in place, as I need them all to function as a witch, Thelemite and esoteric occultist. Gnosis anyone? Joke.

I am so happy to finally prove that I am on the right track! In your face! XD

Sy, x



In Moments of Weakness, Egyptian Deities Give Me Strength

The following spell can be found on plate 32 of the Egyptian Book of the Dead:

 “My hair is Nun; my face is Re; my eyes are Hathor; my ears are Wepwawet; my nose is She who presides over her lotus-leaf; my lips are Anubis; my molars are Selket; my incisors are Isis the goddess; my arms are the Ram, the Lord of Mendes; my breast is Neith, Lady of Sais; my back is Seth; my phallus is Osiris; my muscles are the lords of Kheraha; my chest is He who is greatly majestic; my belly and my spine are Sekhmet; my buttocks are the Eye of Horus; my thighs and my calves are Nut; my feet are Ptah; my fingers are Orion, my toes are living Uraei; there is no member of mine devoid of a god; and Thoth is the protection of all my flesh.” -From the Book of the Dead, Plate 32 – trans by RO Faulkner

The other night, I was having one of those moments when I lay back and just wonder about my life so far. I thought about why I was single, and why the men I’d like dislike me so much. What is it about my intelligence that is so off? Why am I drawn to comic books, magick & mysticism, Shakespeare, E. E. Cummings or Aleister Crowley? Why am I so alone in those topical subjects? What I have done wrong to be in this place, without a degree, decent job, a place of my own and in a relationship? Worst of all, I find I ask myself and the Universe what is wrong with my exterior. Why am I not attractive enough to be taken seriously? Those are the constant questions of a person who struggle’s coming to terms with their being. In times like this, I have to relax and repeat to myself that I am cool, nerdy and wise; so why do I suddenly become so crippled with these indignations?

I am a keen believer in fate and I am open to the path that the Gods are taking me down, and so far they have shown me to paths I would never change for anything. I have a deep faith in all things from the Gods. The path you have isn’t one where you just stand by and just things happen, you have to ask questions, you have to be aware of other ways in figuring out a situation. From that point, in some small way, I feel we have free will. When we break outside the barrier of fate, you fall into the hands of destiny. It is destiny that provokes a lust for life, learning and experiences. It is destiny that you define for yourself with or without the help of supreme beings or enlightened power. In other words, I’m not one who will stand by whilst the world rushes past me and shrug with “It is fate.” I will change that fate and run with the world.

I have spoken briefly before how I like to align myself in the way of the Gods. I like to make it known to them I am fully open at certain times, especially during meditation, mantra, ritual, yoga and other forms of connecting to higher energies, for them to instruct me in the correct ways. I am careful with these rituals as I make sure to cast a circle and protect myself energetically so other entities can’t interfere. Spirits are bloody annoying though… They are so bad with timing its shocking! – Another time. Once the Gods have bestowed what knowledge they want me to know, I use that lesson as a way of keeping tabs on my development. One of the most intense rituals I have written recently took about an hour or so to perform after the circle and quarters were called. It involved me asking the Gods to remove pain from my heart which ever means necessary. That is vague… but I must keep silent. For the past few days I have been feeling rough. Feeling really bad about my life at the moment, the shape of my body but directed at my face more than anything. Phoenix sent me the quote as we both have the same Book of the Dead by RO Faulkner and he basically fulfilled part of the ritual I had performed. I asked for a message, and there he was. Part une complete!

Today I looked in the mirror and read the spell with my black and white candles, dabbed my head with sacred oil and followed through with Egyptian gestures. I want to feel better knowing the Gods are with me. All I needed to do was remind myself that everything has a reason, but I need to make it work with the help of the Gods.

What do you all do in moments of weakness?

Sy x


Rebel Witch – Sun, Gods and More

Most Wiccan’s honour the moon, due to the old calender systems that used the lunar cycles when farming. This went back thousands of years, and thus was the back bone of the Gregorian calender we have today, I cover this a little later on my website which is under major construction. I honour the lunar cycle in my own special way, but most Pagan’s do not honour the sun, unless at the Summer Solstice. How many of you can honestly say they honour the sun as much as they honour the moon every 30 days?

I love the Goddess as much as most people, she is beautiful, life giving and mystical, but so is the God. Growing up I only knew of the Hebrew and Christian view of God and when I came across the Goddess I was excited! I never knew any Goddess could be be honoured, I just thought it was something the ancients did. I started to learn more from the books I had, and meeting other pagans solidified my belief in the Goddess. As time went on, I started to notice the Goddess was finally getting her place in the world back, but slowly the God was being put out. Most books today emphasise the Goddess 10 fold and mention the God as just her partner, who is honoured only a few times a year. That’s balance?

When I started to look into Egyptian, Roman, Greek and most recently Persian mythology I realised the Moon was not associated by the Goddess only. Everything back then was equal to a point, most pantheon’s were lead by their representation of the Almighty One who was usually shown as a male figure, but he had a partner and most stories told of the Gods and Goddesses showed how the Goddess was just as intellectual as her aide, except more magical and practical. These Goddesses walked side by side with their Godly husbands, whereas today the Goddess seems to walk ahead of the God. Maybe I’m just paranoid…

I honour both at the same time. When I came across the Goddess I was happy, but at the same time I started to learn more about the God, I came to know sides of him I never knew before and that made me glad. My balance is with both, not one over the other. Through them I’m learning about myself and it’s a magickal thing, I think like a man sometimes, but my decision making is definatley female, 😛


Here’s the video…. though is short and only a snippet, something tells me there is more…


Anpu the Protector

Little is known about the childhood of one of Egypt’s great Gods of the Ennead Anubis, or as I like to call him Anpu. One story detailed how he was conceived, and when his mother Nebet-het presented him to his father Osiris he was immediately shunned of as the bastard child. You see, Nebet-het is the splitting image of her twin Aset (Isis), the only difference between them is the symbol head dress and their magical functions. Nebet-het managed to get Osiris drunk one night, and in doing so had her way with him. He didn’t realise what was going on, he just assumed he was going to have drunken sex with his wife and eternal partner. Shortly after that night Nebet-het found she was pregnant. Feeling full of guilt for deceiving Osiris and Aset as well as cheating on Set, she found herself at a cross roads. Nebet-het went to Aset and admitted what had happened, explaining that she did what she did as she was jealous of the love Osiris and Aset were getting from the people. Nebet-het wanted to be part of that ‘heavenly union’, and thus it made her mad with rage.

Aset being the kind hearted soul she was to her sister forgave Nebet-het of her grievances, but she still had to tell Set. By the time Nebet-het was going to tell Set, he came and confronted her first. She tried to pass the child off as his, but it didn’t work. Set cast him off, and over time so did Nebet-het. As a youngster Anpu was orphaned, and spent many days and nights out in the desert on him own. He was known to look after other orphaned children like himself, making sure they ate first and had somewhere to sleep.

The jackal is a wild dog, whose closest relative is the Doberman. Jackals are known to be family orientated animals, keeping close with their family and looking after each other as a unified group. They’re skilful hunters, wise and very crafty. They prefer to live in the desert, where their favourite foods live under the seemingly dead land. It’s also known that whenever there is death, from an elephant etc, or small animal that had been prey, a Jackal isn’t far off. Jackal’s were associated with the preparations of death, thus Anpu was born with the head of a Jackal. He was later assigned to be the guide to the underworld too, thanks to Osiris who felt sorry for him and added him to the fold.

Anpu was the patron of orphans and any other folks who found themselves alone or invisible. I have a very strong connection to him through that part of his life story. I know I go on and on about being bullied and being alone as a child, but the events I went through shaped my life in a way that makes me come across as confident and pain free, but honestly, no matter how good or bad I feel, I’m still a lonely person and that hurts the most.

I did a ritual a few months back to help ease the pain of loneliness with Anpu. It was a simple ritual, lots of black and gold candles,  incense and lots of chanting and then sudden quiet time. I meditated on him and his life, my life and how I hoped things would be for my very sensitive heart. Anpu came to me much later in a dream and all he said was ‘Be you, love you, I am Here.’ I thought it was beautiful. I read in a book a few months after the ritual that Anpu was good to call on for protection of the home, and during that time my aunt had gone on holiday leaving me in the dark house by myself. I mean… it was scary… I called on Anpu one night and just asked if he could look after the house while I was there.

Every so often I’ll call on him just to let things out, to let my frustrations go and just to rant. He’s so kind and loving, and wants to listen. I know some folks wonder if they’ll ever have that connection to deity, and all I can say is you will. When you do, you’ll be very surprised. I give my all to the Great Ennead! All Hail Anpu and may Ma’at bless my heart.

Em Hotep x x x

-for more Kemetic info check out the Kemetic Tamera  page up top =]

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Stone of Luck – Spell

From Pagan-Magic.com

You can use the Stone of Luck spell for anything, love, money, health, wealth, spirit awareness, etc.
The key to this empowerment is concentration and belief.

What you need:
1 small Stone of your choice (appropriate to your needs)
1 Candle (correct colour for what you want)
Appropriate Herbs
Appropriate Incense
A Cloth
Oil (either Olive, Jasmine, or Mint)
Some bowls

First you need to meditate on what you want, be it money, love, better health etc.
After you feel you have meditated long enough, you may start the spell.

Light the candle and incense.
Hold the stone in your power (writing) hand.
Concentrate on what you want.

Run the stone through the flame 3 times – taking care not to burn yourself – then put it into the water. Cup your hands over the bowl. Then take the stone out of the water and sprinkle the herbs on it. After you have done that, put the stone into a dry bowl.
Visualize yourself getting what you want.

Then anoint the stone with the oil and put it back into the dry bowl.
Sprinkle some salt onto the stone. Concentrate for a few more minutes on your need.

Finally wrap the stone in the cloth and leave it for at least 24 hours.
Let the candle and incense burn all the way out. Dispose of the water.

When you have completed this spell, carry the stone around with you, eventually your needs will be met.


I did a similar spell a little while ago, back when I was 15. I’m drawn to stone spells, I’m not sure why but they are a constant reminder of the spell I cast. Some stones I have are based on peace for the home, or for myself. Other’s are for luck, prosperity and love. The picture below are the stones I’m most proud of, I did these when I was 19. Every 6 months (scheduled on my Blackberry) I recharge the stones for its original their purposes. It’s a simple set of stones, with what looks like simple symbols with high meaning to the witch, kemetic pagan, or at least me. I’ll never let them out of my sight, so much so I remember a time I came home to find one on the floor in front of my altar and I swear I almost cried. I’m a magickal sissy! What can I say!

My God and Hieroglyphic Touch Stones

Touch stone are also very similar. I’ll be showing you guys my touch stones soon, and hopefully a tutorial on how to make your own and how to charge them for magickal intent. I love my stones, I can just rub them to feel energised in a magickal way. Do any of you do that?


Sy x



Buddhist Witch (brief explin.)

If I had to use a label to attach to myself, I’d go by a Yogic Witch or Buddhist Witch or a Kemetic Buddhist Witch or Pagan… etc. But I don’t like labels much as they cause a whole lot of confusion and when you mention a label to other people there is a lot of ‘others tuff’ that is automatically associated with it. Don’t get me started on the devil worship crap that you would get if you’re a Wiccan or a practising witch. Not all labels are negative though, especially when the term Buddhist comes into play. Most people see Buddhists as world folk who are really in tune with life, life’s mysteries and deity. I went to pick my sister up from school once, and I overheard a woman say to another mother, ‘I’d prefer a Buddhist to look after my child as they are more human than most…’ I’m not entirely sure what the conversation was about, though I did pick up something about childminders and interviews, but I liked what she said. I had a quick look at my old dairies to see when I got my first book on Buddhism and it was way back in March 2007! Woop!

I’ve been reading a ton of books on Zen Buddhism (Tibetan) and books on how to better understand the bodhisattva, The Precepts, The Eight Fold Path and the Four Noble Truths. The only temple I know of is in Brighton but there are a few places in London that I hope to visit one day. Along with Eastern religion and philosophy I found lots of connections with Roman, Greek and Egyptian teachings, such as The Knots of the Heavenly Kine (Coffin Texts, Spell 407, Faulkner) which are energy points on the body that one has to charge with the universe through meditation. TKHK have been seen as the basis of the Hindu Kundalini-yoga chakra points. I’m a Yoga lover too, so when I came across the connection between Buddhism to Yoga (Kundalini) and then onto Hinduism I knew that spirituality was endless and boundless. I’m now able to link Yoga, Buddhism, Kemeticism, Hellenism, Paganism, Judaism and Hinduism but still practise Witchcraft.

As far as history goes and as far as I’m concerned I’m basing my spirituality on the world, quite literally. I don’t mind what I learn or where it’s from; I just want to feel human after learning it. That’s means accepting the good, the bad, and the strange. That’s the beauty of life.

So, what about you folks?

Buddhists Praying


I Feel Like I Do Wicca Wrong

I’m not sure what it is, but I get this nagging feeling every time I read wiccan blogs, books or articles or watch YT videos, I feel like I’m not practising properly. I know I am living the life of the witch correctly, but the whole phenomenon of living my own life without copying other people makes me feel odd. Don’t get me wrong I love living the way I do, it’s fun, educational, emotional and well frankly… unique. I am proud to be an eclectic witch, but I can’t help but feel numbed down because everyone else I see practice a very similar type of Wicca than I do.

For example, when I call the quarters I call the Four Sons of Horus, I do a libation every so often to Apollo and other sun Gods like Helios, Aset, Nebet-Het, Sekhmet my matron etc. I like to work with the energies of the sun as well as the moon. My Sabbat celebrations are slightly different to others as I follow a set of festivals and holy days that were used during the Ancient Kingdoms. I am going to celebrate The Resurrection of Osiris on May 1, whilst everyone else will follow the rite of Beltaine. I love my life and the magick within; it spurs me on everyday to push past my potential!

Does anyone celebrate Gods birthdays besides Buddha?? I mean Apollo day is coming up on the 7th of the 7th, what will you do? And the annual Roman festival of Jupiter is coming up again on the 15th of May, anyone doing anything special?? You see my point… I’m a total loner with this… but I would love to know what things others do that make them feel unique too. It would be grand!!

You all inspire me in ways I can’t explain and it’s wonderful! Keep up the good work and may the Gods be with you!!


My Four Sons of Horus Canopic Jars!!

I had a bunch of gifts sent to me and a load of stuff I bought via eBay!! Yes I have finally learnt howto use eBay! Yay!!

So here are the pictures of one of the most important of purchases!

The Four Sons of Horus!
Hapi and Qhebheks-Nuf

Insety and Duamutef

I’ll have these on my altar, and use them when calling the quarters! I’ll go into detail about who they are and how I work with them in the next entry once its finished, so keep an eye out!! It should be up by tonight!

Em Hotep!