Sy Calaelen


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Building a Better Yoga Regimen | Chakra Glory

The last few weeks have been quite insightful, as many of you know I’m building a fairly flexible magickal hygiene regimen. Now that I’m at university, it means I can allocate time to continue the LBRP and Regardie’s variation of Liber Resh (which is exactly the same, but without the strict solar times at all four points of the day; you can read it here). University life is busy, and my course is amazing so far. So many opportunities’ are waiting, and I also have a lovely amount of writing to do – which is perfect! Before I go off track, today’s post will build up over time, cascading across various posts as I build upon more knowledge and practice. It will centre around yoga, or rather the systems of yoga I adhere to, with a Thelemic edge – in the sense that I am referring to Crowley and Frater Achad’s ideas and practices with their own personal techniques. My studies with Thelema have pushed me back into Kundalini, with a deep focus on mantra yoga and chakra cleansing.

There are tons of ideas, conspiracies’ and rumours about Kundalini, as to why one should never practice it, but I for one am going to suggest you meet it face-to-face for yourself and ignore the preposterous crap out there. There are various forms of yoga that I would personally recommend, but for those of you wanting to read up on the spiritual side, seriously check out Swami Vivekananda, as well as Crowley.  One area that has always fascinated me were chakras. A lot of people around the world, and inside the spiritual community can read a book on the seven chakras from a New Age perspective and run around with a badge that says “Official Chakra Healer” – or something to that degree. I personally like to avoid those people, as I feel we all need to create a personal connection with what we should educate ourselves on. I like hearing other opinions, but I’m a stubborn brat – If I don’t study it for myself, there is no way in hell I’ll understand properly by attempting to feel it with your hands. The seven chakras need attention, but so do the many other areas of the body and psyche – and in order to experience this process fully I needed to do some good old research!

Looking at my personality I find I am a sensitive soul – that will never change according to my sidereal birth chart (moon in Leo for any sidereal astrologers out there) – and unfortunately I have a great sense of pride, loyalty and almost royal expectations from the people I meet. I am also a complex person, with the inability to connect with other human beings very well, even though I do try. My heart is sensitive – as I am an extremist with a desire to find love, yet I don’t trust people on a general level. Just in case you didn’t quite catch that, I’m a romantic reject, but a loveable and loyal friend until my anxiety shows me treason. Those are areas I need to work on for the betterment of my life, which is where the “highly spiritual,” element comes in – I have always had the ability to connect to the forces of the Universe very easily, and it has always been the one place I go when I need to detox, not just spiritually but physically too. I need to work on balancing my heart and head chakras, but I’m going to focus on building up a yoga routine around meditation in particular asanas’.

It won’t be easy – physically or emotionally, but the psychological effects will be most astounding. I guess, yoga in its most materialistic form is more than just connecting yourself to the Universe, or cleansing (which is similar to the Middle Pillar and LBRP exercises), it is about awakening. Awakening yourself spiritually, and more importantly waking yourself up and have a long hard look at yourself. People tend to go off on a tangent when practising asanas at the gym or assuming the spiritual life – they often forget themselves whilst running around trying to help others. There comes a point when all your focus becomes stagnant, or on the other hand, you are so full of energy that you eventually combust on yourself. I know a lot of people who do this, and I do it too, it’s called life. Buddha taught his followers about the Middle Way – a simple way to look at the two extremes in your life and work out how you should walk down the middle with ease. In this sense, I’m going to start formally practising my theory on yogic chakra work with the heart chakra. The heart chakra is built up of 7 main “mini chakra points” – each point is connected to various areas of the body, but the main chakra has 12 petals with their own functions. The heart chakra is the centre of the normal 7 points – and often it’s the chakra that is forgotten (unless you are a yogini or yogi). Most people want spiritual attainment and the ability to ground, when the heart chakra can do both at the same time. Believe me, you can’t find balance until you actually meet him.

chakras44

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Another Vital Lesson?

girl standing alone

This new found cynicism is really hitting home more than I thought it would. Usually I get over negative bumps by willing them away, and changing my thought processes, but this cynicism has grown legs and seems to be constantly next to me. It reminded me of a story Pema Chodron had mentioned in one of her books about the demons that stayed in the cave with a monk, and only left once he accepted that they were apart of his inner self (his emotions). The easiest, and the hardest approach to dealing with my new friend is to psychoanalyse it and find out how and why it appeared, and more importantly how to accept it.

So far two friends have done their little bit to help me start the mindful process by staying positive and focusing on myself, rather than fretting about other people and their woes. On top of that I also have to deal with the cold hard truth that I am breaking away from the shell society has created, and in some way letting the little rebel in me come fourth. I’m not sure if that side of my personality is part of the ego being stripped down, or if it has any spiritual connotations, but one thing is clear, it is here to stay.

By accepting this demon (as I’m calling it), this husk as being part of my personality it has become quite calm. I guess in a way, after a lovely article Mr. Dusk had sent me, I needed to stand up on this empty desert road and start a small plan for phase one. Read the story here. I see myself standing alone, staring at the dark wilderness around me, unable to properly focus on a small light ahead. I know deep down I’ve touched that light before, but for some reason I’m unable to move close to it again. I run, without shoes or socks, toward the light but I realise I’m stuck on a treadmill. That feeling, or at least that repetitive image plays over and over in my head. I wouldn’t go as far as saying that I am at a loss, I am definitely aware of myself, my duty and this lesson but I find on other occasions I’m asking what it is I should believe in. This is where things go a little off kilter.

I read the article and felt quite good. Not in the sense that I would suddenly donate millions to some far away charity, but glad I recognised the problem. Mr. Dusk has been super cool, and inspirational, so you can imagine the sheer awe when he sent the link after catching up with my musings online. It was the right dose of medicine. (Thanks, you’re a gem of a dude!). Last evening Guru Jonboi called to catch up, and like the small number of gems in my life, he knew something was up when I didn’t reply to his texts in full for a few days. Now, most of you have seen Guru Jonboi in previous vlogs, if not here is one, and you know how spiritual and honestly blunt he is; typical East End boy. He knew something was up and he pestered me for the most part of almost 3 hours to find out what it was. I knew cynicism was growing fast, I even painted it a little face to match its armless body, but knowing something is wrong isn’t the same as finding out why.

I figured it was down to the fact that in the past whenever I had issues I used to bottle them up or hide them under the carpet, in the hope that they would just disappear. Obviously they don’t, and at some point they just crawl back out. You know how it is, things just build up until the day that one little thing can make you snap in two. We both agreed that we have high thresholds, and we can tolerate a lot of problems, and in a weird way we use those pains to keep us spiritual and grounded. I know that must sound odd, but I embrace the worst aspects life could throw at me in order to fully appreciate the good things that arrive. I think that is where my cynicism lies. I’m so used to the negativity from other people, or even family, that the few good things that happen I have to create myself. I don’t ask people to help me do good things, I don’t ask for help often either. What makes me happy is knowing I’ve worked hard to get my life going the way I want, regardless of what other people say. I also love the fact that I’m happy when I’ve made someone else smile. I’m a loyal Leo like that, send me diamonds! (Actually don’t… I prefer wooden jewellery).

Sitting back and thinking about it, and life, I have my defences up at the best of times. Being a lonely kind of person has also made me realise how difficult it is for me to socialise due to the experiences I have had with old friends from the past. I never dealt with those people, nor allowed myself to close and burn those old books. I left them on my imaginary shelf, and only now they are causing me great difficulty. I’m independent  nerdy and just plain strange, but I am happy that I alone forged the person I am. The same way as you forged the person you are. It is just at the moment, I’m hating my loneliness  hating the idea of living the rest of my life with three quarters of my defences up and hating the notion that every 5 people I meet will fail me in some way. I don’t want to be negative, and maybe my cynicism is exactly what I need to stop me from turning into an angry and bitter old person. Eventually that cynical demon will transform into logic or something.

Another image keeps me quite content about the future, created by that other little beast, Hope (except she is pink with a great big blue bow on her head, and no she doesn’t have arms either – I doodle a lot). I see myself sitting behind a big wooden desk, in an office surrounded by books. I’m wearing a black academic robe, marking essays. It’s probably an unrealistic goal, but I want to be an English literature professor with an expertise in classics, Shakespeare and language. That idea makes me smile, makes me hopeful and unashamed of being the nerd I am. The realistic view would be a small white office space shared with other faculty members with PhD under my name instead, ha! (1 nil to me!)

For now, listen to the words of Portugal. The Man‘s latest track – Atomic Man.


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The Ever Esoteric Buddhist Witch

from Artzotec.com but I believe this print has sold out…

I have had a weird few days, with astonishing results that I did not expect. So much so, even when meditating I have found I am more balanced as far as emotions go and my rituals have become better concentrated. They still take forever to complete but I love basking in the moment and feeling the ripples of energy and power surging in and around me. I haven’t done any rituals or meditations in a few days, as I have been travelling and adding more to my written works. One book in particular, which is more of an open journal with personal and private notes, lots of tips, advice and pages on magick for folks who want to try something a little different, has been the major work for the past few years. I have chopped it up, changed it and given up on it so many times because I thought it would go one way, but it ended up in another form as my everyday life has changed with time. I left my intentions to the Gods one night a while back in a desperate plea for a break, but for days after all I did was jot down paragraphs here and there. The Gods were adamant that I had to keep writing if I wasn’t going to cast spells or get drunk at the weekends. Darn… they are the extra bossy parents you did not ask for sometimes! No pressure, huh?

Vajrayogini

This morning I started doing some written study from Book 4 by Aleister Crowley, the Bhagavad Gita and later performed some yoga to open myself for a nice little meditation to end my session. As soon as it was over I began to journal the events of yesterday which is my normal routine, and then pulled out my laptop to check emails without any inclination to write anything up, but something hit the back of my mind; who I am becoming? It is easy to forget the path I am on, and as much as I hate too much routine I find I fall into it ever so easily due to teaching myself about the structure of particular practices. I get so used to them, performing them and experimenting and noting how every try produces differing results a lot, hence why I a sometimes jaded into thinking I haven’t progressed much. The more I thought about it the more I knew I had to draft an official copy of my thoughts and feelings in this current state. I ended up writing four full pages with incredibly bad grammar and very bad syntax. Somehow, it didn’t feel finished but I felt okay with what I had. I then made the slight mistake in standing by my travel altar, which consisted of two small candles, drawn seals and a mini scarab beetle with a cloth and saying out loud that I wish I had the means to straighten out the coil of words I wanted to write which would make that chapter better written in order to justify who I am. I blew the candles out and didn’t think anything of it, packed away my laptop and rolled up in bed and continued to read more of Crowley’s philosophy and creating my own.

Later, I had a nap (in the middle of the day! That never happens and man it felt good!), woke up thinking about how complex my study has been over the years, and I guess I just wanted to know what to do with the next 13 years of practice wondering where I’ll end up. I went out for a walk and sat on the beach just listening to the waves crashing and watching the clouds in the sky slowly crawling by. I have been so disconnected from the world that I noticed I hadn’t checked my phone, so after a few minutes or hours on the beach I headed back to the hotel to check the other unread emails and noticed someone had posted several comments on a video I posted back in 2010 about being a practicing witch and Buddhist. What this person had said was beautiful, it was the wake up I needed, the inspiration I need to help me write the coiled words I found hard to unravel earlier. Hopefully you folks will understand it =]

I’ve been a “Buddhist witch “for 10 years, there is no problem, no contradiction. In fact if one is a practitioner of any highest yoga tantra and especially practitioners of the yogini tantras such as Vajrayogini or any dakini practice then one is already in fact a witch in every sense of the term. Vajrayogini / Vajravarahi is queen of the witches, her nirmanakaya [earth body] forms are witches as we know the term to mean, and her practices are entirely the landscape of witches, as are all the highest yoga tantras, annutarra yoga practices.

Vajrayana Buddhism is an absolute treasure house of magic and witchcraft, most Buddhists don’t realize or know this and most couldn’t care less, many deny it even as they practice vajrayana, tantra itself being a magical system that adopted a soteriological goal only later in its development, in fact the first tantras, kriya and charya tantras had no soteriological goal merely the acquirement of worldly siddhis. If one reads any of the root tantras from kriya class all the way up to annutarra yoga class one will find a truckload of low magic, including tons of black rites, one will also find very extensive pharmacopoeias in some, lists and use of tons of herbs, in fact many root tantras are mainly composed of rites. In any case any tantrika completing an approachment retreat on a deity i.e. 100,000 – 400,000 repetitions if it is a number retreat, at the end they perform the fire puja and they then have the authority to practice the actual fire rites and the 4 activities of pacifying, magnetizing / increasing, subjugation, and destruction, in other words tantric Buddhists in fact practice white, yellow, red, and black magic, but this is the thing, the very important thing…….as Buddhist witches our motivation must always be white no matter the type of rite it’s about intent, as it is with traditional witchcraft. Also if u are acquainted with both vajrayana Buddhism and the western magical trads and witchcraft then your understanding of encountering one orthe other will be greatly vacillated, in other words witches will understand tantra better than most Buddhists even practicing it, Buddhists focus only on soteriological goals and virtually completely ignore anything else within their own tradition, this is one reason so many have such a probunderstanding aspects of it and especially ritual.  So u see if u are a practitioner of secret mantra then u have always been a witch if u are practicing yogini then indeed witch be thy name. If you want to get a glimpse of the witches of tantric Buddhism then a Google on Vajrayogini, Vajravarahi, Troma Nagmo, Kurukulle, Simhamukha, dakini, and chod practice as well,…..will lead u in the right direction. Of course these are vajrayana deities and require initiation from a vajra master in one of the lineages. On one level it can be said an athame is the dorje, chalice is the ghanta (bell), our ritual daggers are the phurbas [and] our cauldrons are the kapalas (skull bowls). also we too call the guardians of the directions, we too cast a 3 fold circle albeit with visualization, we too have a rich tradition of medicinal and magical herbs, stones, and metals, amulets and talismans, we too use a triangle in certain rites, and indeed it has the same meanings on one level, I could go on……

 

There is a plethora of information out there, and luckily I have come across a few of the subjects this person mentioned years ago and have practiced and read them a while back. I guess now is the time to put it all into practice by revamping my current practices and learning to grow more as a witch. In life, the only way is up by living in the moment.

Here is my video too (it was 2010, and my views are pretty much the same, but much more developed these days, and I’m sticking with the WWF rather than PETA):

Namaste folks, Sy x


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About Relationships from the BuddhistSocietyWA

This really shook me, woke me up and I am thankful for that. At the same time, my real friends, the people I love and care about helped pick me up. Thank you all for being so accepting of me.

Enjoy.


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8 Ways to Mindfulness In My Purse

I am just writing this super short post on my new personal project for the year. The Buddhist wheel or whatever you may call it actually refers to the eightfold path, or the eight ways of thinking or living a mindful life or mindful path. This path enables the person walking it to become compassionate, mindful and eventually it will help lead you to enlightenment. There is a lot more tot he eight fold path than what I’ve just explained here, so over time, the next 8 months to be precise I shall explain what each spoke on the wheel means to the everyday Buddhist, and what they mean to me. I am also attempting to work on my mind patterns, in order to live a better life. Right now, life is quite difficult, but the only things I need to focus on to keep happy are college, my friends and my life. The first lesson you learn is all about living in the now and being grateful for what you have, but the most important gift you have is the breath, so I’m focusing even more on that small feature.

I have taken up a small exercise from The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Buddhism, shown below, in order to learn how to just stop and bask in the moment as it were. What you need is a piece of paper and fold it in half three times, then open in out and on one side write all of the eight words of the path onto each segment, as follows:

  • Speech
  • Action
  • Work
  • Effort
  • View
  • Thought
  • Concentration
  • Mindfulness

The wheel itself has no beginning, middle or end and this simulates life itself through the view of impermanence. When you meditate, focus on the breath or focus on one of the phrases slowly, once at a time. Try and learn to live in the now. As time goes on, you should jot down keywords or phrases that you are emotionally connected to. The habits, vices and virtuous slogans you want to either adapt or change or learn to live with. For example, where you put ‘Speech’ you may like to put ‘swearing’ or ‘gossip’. Where you have put ‘Concentration’ you may like to put ‘don’t read while eating’ or ‘look at the clouds when sitting outside’ as daily reminders. Write these other phrases on the back of each section, as if creating flash cards.

I’m not sure how I’ll be, and if you attempt this idea too, then realise you are human. This road won’t be perfect, and you should welcome that ideal. Let me share a story from the book:

A passing stranger encountered some Buddhist monks in a forest. He asked what they were doing. A monk stopped to explain that they were Buddhists and that he and his fellow monks were cutting wood. “Wait. I cut wood, too, for my fire,” said the man. “I don’t see anything extraordinary about that.” “Well, sir,” the monk replied, “when we cut wood, we know we are cutting wood. We don’t cut wood to build a fire. We cut wood to cut wood.” The monk smiled, and added, “If we can’t cut wood, how then can we build a fire?” Then he resumed his work, and the man went on his way. – Gary Gach.

Nice.

Keep it in your purse/wallet/pocket - Buddhist Wheel

Wish me luck =P

Sy x

 


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Taking Things Slowly From Now On

My intention for this post was purely to inspire my readers in that notion of taking things slowly as far as spiritualism is concerned, and to address the ever approaching feeling of my depression coming back in a way I can handle. I would have gone into little detail about the overwhelming feeling of regret, upset and disappointment of not being the ideal person. By that I mean I find it incredibly easy to be harsh to myself when I see or feel other people are doing brilliantly. I do not know or understand what it is I am missing, but for now, I shall take time and just be myself. I have decided on just letting this post just flow from my finger tips with the best hopes that I will be forgiven for not being the well rounded individual I hoped I would be by now. I have taken strides in my life and so far they have taken me down hard roads with difficult circumstances, but I have learnt to build myself up and crash back down to earth with a feather light thud. I am human after all. There is nothing wrong with wishing.

The other day a friend of mine emailed me giving me an update of a serious issue she was dealing with, and thanked me for the advice I had given her. It was basic common sense that pulled her through, Buddhist common sense entwined with Ancient Egyptian knowledge which I have talked about a lot in the past here and a slightly off topic video here. Giving advice comes easily to me, purely because it was advice that had been handed down or I had read somewhere, which allowed me to apply it to my own personal struggles. I learn through experience, I can’t any other way and thus I share my experiences with you. The inevitable thing that rises in my everyday life is the inability to take my own advice 100% of the time. It can be quite an annoying nudge when people say “It is all well and good to give advice and expect it to be taken, but why can you never take your own?” – Another friend told me this, like so many of you, but let me just point out that this makes me sound like a dictator of some sort (Quit it!) However, that is a true statement. I do follow my own advice, especially the ones detailed in those previous posts; I just lose sight and fall off the road.

I have decided on taking my own advice and that of other people too. The one form of advice, which I have had nothing but bad experiences with, is the notion of being something I am most defiantly not. I always keep trying to emulate the ‘perfect person’ or the ‘perfect witch’ or the ideal lady but I don’t have the qualities that most possess. I am taking the time to look in the mirror and just be thankful that I have something that I love about myself, and that is my intelligence. I always state how proud I am of being a nerd, even though it can be a lonely road, I feel I finally have come to a realisation that I do have something I can hone and work on for myself. I know I happen to be the thorn on a rose, but I have something the rose defiantly doesn’t. I have my own little niche and like I said, I am taking things slowly. I am going to teach myself how to open up to myself and not be so critical or harsh. It makes me unhappy when other people tell me where I have failed, but it hurts even more when their poisonous words are laced with a devastating truth. I just need to look at their words as a form of empowerment and go from there. It will take a while to be okay with some things, and I have no idea what I may encounter but I am willing.

Last night when I got home from a long day at work I sat with a candle and wrote a long list of traits I wished I could have possessed in the past, and slowly cut between them to make individual strips. I lit some incense to clear my mind and make my thoughts still. I burnt each word to nothing, smiling as they disintegrated. I am happier now in the knowledge I’m finally taking the reins and taking control of my life in a more prolific way. I shall do what I want, as long as there is reason, with the attitude of one not caring much about what others will think or say. *Tongue out*

Just in case you can’t click the above post links, take heed of my favourite forms of advice:

“Abandon any hope of fruition” – Buddhist Tonglen slogan

“Change your attitude, but remain natural” – Buddhist Tonglen slogan

Thank you Phoenix, Mr. Quality and everyone else who I love dearly even though I haven’t learnt to say so yet =]

 

 

Oh and I have decided on a huge step in my life, with caution. I want to experience something big, without feeling like I will let myself down in some way, and that thing is: Sex – future post on this soon and my thoughts on the subject and how I value it in my life.

Thoughts?

Sy x