Sy Calaelen

Looking Back, Very Briefly: 2012


Today is the 1st day of 2013. I’m noticeably anxious, worried, a little excited and thrilled. A friend I met earlier said I needed a drink, and to look forward to a year of potential success and triumph. I thought he was being nice and decided on two small shots of Jack Daniels, one large beer glass of water and a slice of cheesecake (I discovered cheesecake last year! And yes, I live in a cave.)

I’m sitting here, about to close my journal, nursing another small glass of Jack Daniels wondering what happened last year, and why this forthcoming year doesn’t feel the same. Last year I started to relax, love myself and search for who I really wanted to be. I came out of the spiritual closet, at least to myself, and anyone who was listening/reading as a Thelemite, Hermit and Witch. But as I think about what happened each month, and flick through the pages of my journal I have noticed how much I have grown. This year, I wonder what life will bring me?

Here is a super brief list of really amazing things that happened:
January – started to blog more, made friends with total strangers and decided on focusing on my future and career.
March – fell in love with Game of Thrones all over again!
May – finally bought Book 4 and Thelema and intense magick study commences.
August – I turned 24, but then again, that was quiet. Started a friendship with Mr. Vamp a lovely Irish Thelemite, who is not only incredibly intelligent, hot (à la, Jim Morrison) but he is patient with my crazy self.
September – went to the London Tattoo Convention with Miss Dating Queen Amy.
October – I started another 108 days of meditation, focusing on Hermeticism and stripping myself back to my core.
November – thought I had found a potential partner, but he rejected me quicker than an arsehole dumps a slut. Oh, I had sex for the first time in 3 years or so.
December – I practised rituals in a more concise manner, with some routine. I am determined to be a better witch in time.

There is so much more I could have included! My journal is proof, but alas I would jib jab on far too much. As for my hopes for 2013, I don’t have any major plans or hopes. I want to start university, be initiated into the OTO and travel more. I must say one thing: as love is a topic that pretty much left me crying myself to sleep most nights, I don’t think I want to think about it too much this year. I have a soft spot for three men in my life, but I know we’ll only ever be friends; they are intelligent, hot and way to good for me. If it happens that I meet a lovely guy then that would be great, but so far the Gods are making it very difficult; they want me to focus on my career and spiritual studies only. Thanks, I will do that.

What will 2013 bring? I don’t have a clue. Do you?

Sy, x


Author: Sy Calaelen

Sy Calaelen is a British writer, blogger and Youtube vlogger, though she isn't filming at the moment. English literature graduate and future social work graduate. Both sites will focus on literary reviews, book lists, comic books and nerd chat, writing and novel tips, and discussions in magick, paganism and the occult. A mixture of everything from her. Reach out on social media from Twitter, Tumblr, YouTube, Instagram, GoodReads, and Pinterest.

4 thoughts on “Looking Back, Very Briefly: 2012

  1. I am going back to the basics. My only resolution is more meditation. Makes a nice mantra doesn’t it? Going back to the basics, rereading some books and hopefully gearing up for yet another year of spiritual growth.

  2. Cara Soror,

    Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

    So good to see a fellow star coming into her own LVX & NOX. I have a feeling this will be a great year for you!

    Love is the law, love under will.

    Fra. Ser Pente

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