Today is the 1st day of 2013. I’m noticeably anxious, worried, a little excited and thrilled. A friend I met earlier said I needed a drink, and to look forward to a year of potential success and triumph. I thought he was being nice and decided on two small shots of Jack Daniels, one large beer glass of water and a slice of cheesecake (I discovered cheesecake last year! And yes, I live in a cave.)
I’m sitting here, about to close my journal, nursing another small glass of Jack Daniels wondering what happened last year, and why this forthcoming year doesn’t feel the same. Last year I started to relax, love myself and search for who I really wanted to be. I came out of the spiritual closet, at least to myself, and anyone who was listening/reading as a Thelemite, Hermit and Witch. But as I think about what happened each month, and flick through the pages of my journal I have noticed how much I have grown. This year, I wonder what life will bring me?
Here is a super brief list of really amazing things that happened:
January – started to blog more, made friends with total strangers and decided on focusing on my future and career.
March – fell in love with Game of Thrones all over again!
May – finally bought Book 4 and Thelema and intense magick study commences.
August – I turned 24, but then again, that was quiet. Started a friendship with Mr. Vamp a lovely Irish Thelemite, who is not only incredibly intelligent, hot (à la, Jim Morrison) but he is patient with my crazy self.
September – went to the London Tattoo Convention with Miss Dating Queen Amy.
October – I started another 108 days of meditation, focusing on Hermeticism and stripping myself back to my core.
November – thought I had found a potential partner, but he rejected me quicker than an arsehole dumps a slut. Oh, I had sex for the first time in 3 years or so.
December – I practised rituals in a more concise manner, with some routine. I am determined to be a better witch in time.
There is so much more I could have included! My journal is proof, but alas I would jib jab on far too much. As for my hopes for 2013, I don’t have any major plans or hopes. I want to start university, be initiated into the OTO and travel more. I must say one thing: as love is a topic that pretty much left me crying myself to sleep most nights, I don’t think I want to think about it too much this year. I have a soft spot for three men in my life, but I know we’ll only ever be friends; they are intelligent, hot and way to good for me. If it happens that I meet a lovely guy then that would be great, but so far the Gods are making it very difficult; they want me to focus on my career and spiritual studies only. Thanks, I will do that.
What will 2013 bring? I don’t have a clue. Do you?