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I’m Not Crazy After-all | Hidden Wisdom Lecture

I was sent a link about Tim Wallace-Murphy’s book ‘Hidden Wisdom: Secrets of the Western Esoteric Tradition’, which I have put in my Amazon basket already. It is such a lovely lecture, presented by an equally lovely man. He goes into a lot of detail about the esoteric traditions and their roots, ranging as far back as the Ancient Egyptians, Ancient Greeks/Romans with information on the Knights Templar and symbology. However, for this post I am only going to pull out one or two areas that rung true to me, or at least got me thinking.

Watch the lecture here, it’s a must see!

It is the ideal lecture on understanding where your magickal teachings come from. More than anything, I picked up early on about the difference between religion and spirituality, in which he stated and agreed with an old friend that religion is man-made, whilst spirituality is natural and free. I have always thought this, and deep down I knew I was spiritual, and always felt akin to my spiritual friends. I was pretty much alone in my early theories, arguing back and fourth with religious people from all walks of life, whether it was Christians, Wiccans and most recently, a handful of Thelemites. They all pretty much said the same thing, “You need religion to get on in life. You can’t have spirituality without religion.” Which I have disproved so many times; I am living proof. On the other side, when I say that I believe esoteric traditions to be more spiritually grounded, people have often told me I am wrong too. Exempli gratia, witchcraft is spirituality, Druidry and Thelema are considered religions with a direct link to spiritual purity, and so I would categorise them as being ‘Spiritual Religions’. As much as I dislike the word religion, I use it to emphasise the difference between freedom and structure (or doctrine). What has me perplexed is the fact that something like Thelema, which is a religion, clearly teaches you that in order to be spiritual you must go out and seek that natural water for your own heart, which is a spiritual notion, so I can’t think of Thelema as a religion all the time. Thelema is too beautiful and life affirming to have a dirty word like “Religion’ bestowed on it? Am I crazy? I can feel the crazy looks…

It is nice to know that my theories aren’t all hokum after all. Guru Jonboi (haha) would agree with me, on the grounds that spirituality and religions are two different things. Thinking back to the first phone call we had when we spoke about their differences, listening to what he was saying sent warmth down my spine; everything he said, was almost word for word coming from my mind. It felt great. To this day we still read from the same page, regardless of where we are spiritually. He leans more to the Eastern philosophies, whilst I roam the wilds of the Ancients.

Later on Wallace-Murphy goes into detail about the early Ancient Egyptian influence on the creation of Judaism. I came across a few similarities and arguments during my research and practice days. I often looked up the beginnings of The Emerald Tablet, The Kybalion and its inspirations, Kemeticism and the famed Hermes Trismestagus who could have been Moses. It’s fascinating information I tell you. It makes me think up new possible theories, but I have taught myself not to say anything out loud to people in case I am stomped on by a hundred angry men (that’s why I write on my blog, only a few eyes read it, so I can get away with it! :P).

I have always felt proud of where I was going, knowing I was right all along. All of the lessons, paths and practices I have adopted are spiritual without a doubt, and to top it off, they all fall under Hermetic practises, and Thelema most certainly. As I have mentioned a few times, my spiritual life in the last 13 years has grown, and I have only dropped Wicca, the Wiccan Rede and the minor Celtic traditions as the religious aspect of my search for a religiously spiritual home. Everything else has stayed firmly in place, as I need them all to function as a witch, Thelemite and esoteric occultist. Gnosis anyone? Joke.

I am so happy to finally prove that I am on the right track! In your face! XD

Sy, x

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Thelema Excites Me… Where Do I Begin? [list]

Good morning folks!

Firstly I have pissed of three people because of my lust and positive attitude toward studying Thelema. The one point I want to express here, is the fact that I read a lot more than I practice at the beginning of any field. Once I feel I am well read, and once the Gods begin to point me at other lessons, then, and only then will I start to practice. Those of you who have watched me blossom since my first blog post back in 05 know about that method. I’m not stupid, so relax.

Secondly, this is something I have officially taken up and hope in time will be my religious affiliation. I have read about Thelema for years. I have read up on Crowley for a while too, but until a few months back I did nothing about any of it. I have been devouring ‘The Golden Dawn’ book by Regardie, and loving it.

The one thing that makes my journey a little difficult is the lack of a proper teacher and not much of a starting point. With general witchcraft there is always a starting point. You have to learn the literature, the basic magick and then find the roots of your practice. Basically, you learn where magick comes from, how it can be used, the ethics of magick, the Gods or atheist root, religious groups that use witchcraft like Wicca, Druidry or Santeria. Once you have those in your back pocket, you’ll be able to practice fairly freely. As far as magick goes, you learn the basics such as simple circle castings, prosperity spells leading all the way up to evocations, invocations and Drawing Down the Moon. Thelema is not so open, easy or wide mouthed. Perfect?

When I started learning Wicca, which I eventually outgrew and thus dropped over a painful amount of years, I noted there were large amounts of 101 books shipped every minute. With Wicca, Celtic Magick and such there are tons of starting places that are very similar; that way you know you can’t fail. They are safe magickal practices which I would expect most young people to get to grips with. However, I wasn’t overly excited, I was happy and very positive, but once I let go of Wicca I finally felt free and that got me going.

I’m in lust with Thelema, Hermeticism is my true love and the Golden Dawn are my fantastical fantasy lovers. (I do apologise if that is offensive or crude in any way, I just want to express my point on how magickally and intelligently horny I am). I even tweeted a little appreciation this morning:
“I have never felt as excited, happy, brave or as positive since working on the religious aspect of Hermeticism. #Hermeticism #Thelema ♥”

Okay, one friend who I speak with often, and who also happens to be a solitary practitioner gave me the following list. After I pissed of the folks I thought I could have banter with, and being labelled a… Well, I won’t repeat it but those of you who read those tweets know, I gave myself one more try. For the first time in a long time my happiness was paired with a deep bout of failure. Is it wrong that I am this happy, and this upset at the same time? I have never felt this way, and its quite annoying to say the least. As much as I want to grow, knowing that other people aren’t as happy or open makes me stay in my solitary circle a while longer, which limits my practice.

I was quite upset actually, so much so I haven’t performed any magick or devotions for the past few days. I have heard, on more than one occasion that the occult finds you, and I believe it because it found me. Hence why I am so darn happy with my progress so far, I know this is my path, my journey, my Will and no one can tell me otherwise? Right? Thelema so far is confusing on the front that there aren’t many solitary practitioners, as almost everyone has a teacher. I have had bad experiences with covens and teenage angst filled groups, which drove me to practising magick on my own. To hear that Thelema requires a few friends to discuss and debate with scares me a little. I don’t do well around people, at all. How will I cope with this religion? I am easily daunted and my social skills are shot to hell. Do you see my difficulty? For now, like I mentioned, I just need to get to grips with the sacred texts and work hard.

I’m determined. Shoot me.

Anyway, this small list is from my daemon lover:

🔻You must read the Book of the Law (but you must accept it if you want to be a practising Thelemite in future).

With Book 4, read up on these:
🔻Part 1 – Mysticism and Part 2 – Magick (though you mentioned you have, and made notes? I don’t remember. It was a while?)
🔻Part 3.1 – The Principles of Ritual
🔻Part 3.XVI – Part 1 of the Oath
🔻Liber III vel Jugorum (make notes! Lots of notes! Then STFU!)
🔻Liber E and Liber O
🔻Then, Appendices part IX. I-VI

Go over those lots and lots, and lots. Make notes, practice and grow. You said you have the Golden Dawn book? I suggest reading it from cover to cover, and fold corners on important pages. Also get a hold of Liber 777. Once you have those email/call me and I’ll get you another list.

Use the internet too.

— okay, he is not my lover, he just loves working with daemons, angels and other entities etc. He has been a magician for years, and happens to be one of the happiest people I know.

Hopefully that list is okay though. I have Liber 777 already and various other tables, so studying should be fine. I’m not sure if this is an ideal list, but as I am halfway through it, its been great so far. Just thought I would share!

Love and 93’s, x

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One Freaky Night: Sleep Paralysis Anyone?

Just a super quick post! I shall develop more as time goes on.

For the past few weeks I have been studying hard to better my personal lessons. The more I get to know myself, the better a witch I am. At the same time Mr. Vamp* has been helping me out quite a bit with recommendations, and helping me sort out the various correspondences according to Liber 777. On top of that, Thelema is fast becoming the major addition to my Hermetic path and I am learning fairly easily, but I can’t shake that feeling of being new. The moment I started practising magick, more than a decade ago, I never felt ‘new’ to it. It was something I knew about, so the only thing I had to focus on was hiding it until I was 18. Now, after all this time, this feeling has irked me.

One of the lessons I have been researching for years was the Lesser Banishing of the Pentagram aka LBRP. I had come across it several times in the past, but the terminology was so utterly confusing that I never bothered with it. The Hebrew itself is fine though, let me just point that out. I had never performed it until the other day. One friend said I should practice it when I feel comfortable, which was over a year ago, but Mr. Vamp stated I should try to perform it twice daily for a few months. I must admit, now that I have taken it seriously and worked hard on understanding its basic philosophy, I have pissed off the Mr. (Sorry!)

Let’s get to the seemingly quick part, which also happens to be a query: Have you ever chased away a being or entity during sleep paralysis?

I have experienced sleep paralysis a few times, and they are scary as you lose control and can’t move. I find that I breathe very deeply out of sheer panic. However, last night when my sleep paralysis came on, I found myself gaining control over my mind and mouth. I was able to repeat the lines below over and over, ever so quietly (due to being partly asleep and partly awake), whilst desperately trying to move my body. I noticed I was saying the arch angels name a little louder than the intended whispers and immediately felt calmer as my paralysis stopped within seconds. For the first time in a long time, I slept without the light on. (Just in case you are wondering, an entity has been in my room for the past few months – the rude one who rocks me in bed, and unfortunately for someone who sleeps in the dark, I have had to sleep with the light on. Not good).

“Before me Raphael;
Behind me Gabriel;
To my right hand Michael;
and to my left hand Uriel.”

So, without knowledge of the LBRP or those lines, I never would feel as amazing as I do. Have any of you learnt something that has awesome side effects?

I can imagine little entities crying, “Unclean! Unclean!” once one of the Arch Angels arrive.

Just thought I would share, and ponder!

Sy, x

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A Part of Aleister Crowley’s Many Essays

“But it so happens that everything on this planet is, ultimately, irrational; there is not, and cannot be, any reason for the causal connexion of things, if only because our use of the word “reason” already implies the idea of causal connexion. But, even if we avoid this fundamental difficulty, Hume said that causal connexion was not merely unprovable, but unthinkable; and, in shallower waters still, one cannot assign a true reason why water should flow down hill, or sugar taste sweet in the mouth. Attempts to explain these simple matters always progress into a learned lucidity, and on further analysis retire to a remote stronghold where every thing is irrational and unthinkable.

If you cut off a man’s head, he dies. Why? Because it kills him. That is really the whole answer. Learned excursions into anatomy and physiology only beg the question; it does not explain why the heart is necessary to life to say that it is a vital organ. Yet that is exactly what is done, the trick that is played on every inquiring mind. Why cannot I see in the dark? Because light is necessary to sight. No confusion of that issue by talk of rods and cones, and optical centres, and foci, and lenses, and vibrations is very different to Edwin Arthwait’s treatment of the long-suffering English language.

Knowledge is really confined to experience. The laws of Nature are, as Kant said, the laws of our minds, and, as Huxley said, the generalization of observed facts.

It is, therefore, no argument against ceremonial magic to say that it is “absurd” to try to raise a thunderstorm by beating a drum; it is not even fair to say that you have tried the experiment, found it would not work, and so perceived it to be “impossible.” You might as well claim that, as you had taken paint and canvas, and not produced a Rembrandt, it was evident that the pictures attributed to his painting were really produced in quite a different way.

You do not see why the skull of a parricide should help you to raise a dead man, as you do not see why the mercury in a thermometer should rise and fall, though you elaborately pretend that you do; and you could not raise a dead man by the aid of the skull of a parricide, just as you could not play the violin like Kreisler; though in the latter case you might modestly add that you thought you could learn.

This is not the special pleading of a professed magician; it boils down to the advice not to judge subjects of which you are perfectly ignorant, and is to be found, stated in clearer and lovelier language, in the Essays of Thomas Henry Huxley. ”
― Aleister Crowley

I looked at this from a Hermetic point of view, where you are open to theories, ideas and concepts yet you are able to shut them off. A sort of Middle Way for magicians and philosophers. I have studied the works of Huxley and Kant, along with Descartes. Beautiful stuff! But very weird to understand at first. Hope you enjoyed it 🙂

Sy, x

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