Sy Calaelen

Loneliness Keeps Me Magickal

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The past few weeks have been quite titillating, as far as magickal workings and study go. A few weeks back I uploaded a video asking for various versions of circle castings, as I had printed a long list of them years ago but sadly misplaced it over time. Every so often, and usually around my dedication anniversary at the summer solstice or around Mabon/Samhain time I like to update and change aspects of my magickal practice. That could be a revamp on my thoughts to do with various philosophies or practices such as pranayama or kundalini. Other times I come across a ritual of some kind that needs further development because its effect has worn off slightly, like the sabbats/deity birthdays/Holy Day rituals. I like to keep a record on how often my spiritual life grows and grows each year.

I had some difficulty with the answers I received, a lot of the lovely folks out there either didn’t know what I asked (I am pretty bad at explanations), others didn’t answer at all and one lead me to one example channel that didn’t really rest well with me (I got strange vibes and had to close the page). So, like I have done since I uploaded my first vlog, I have given everyone the benefit of the doubt, asked a fairly simple question and got nothing much to use. I went back to square one and decided to have another flick through old books and notes, coupled with a few new books I purchased recently.

Luckily, members outside of the YouTube community have been helping me a lot. One Thelemite in particular (you know who you are) has been a huge help. It is becoming more and more apparent that my magickal life is lonely, but it has been more rewarding than ever. If I hadn’t stood on the outside for so long I guarantee I never would have found my way to the world I am in right now. I am also glad that I know the Gods are pointing me in the right direction.

I have mentioned my loneliness before, but it has only become something of a positive revelation. I don’t mind now. I don’t need to ask people advice as much, or ask for their help that much either. I have my books, a few wonderful friends and the Gods.

The question I had asked, like so many before, I answered by myself. There is nothing more fulfilling than knowing you worked hard for a lovely and sometimes unexpected outcome. I have been offline from the YouTube world for so long, and the shock I received from how business and fame minded the new pagan generation are was enough to keep me away. Yet again the hermit in me may come out and lead the way for a while.

Right now, I am sitting on the floor with a small altar set up for my night meditations and devotions. The spark my magick creates is warming and abundant, but most importantly, instead of feeling the sadness of not being able to open up about my practices like everyone else, I feel happy in the knowledge that I am unique.

As for the circle query, I have just what I need. I am sticking to the formulations’ of the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram (LBRP), The Rosy Cross Ritual, my standard 3 Circle Sphere and the basic Circling Shield. All with their own different functions, but all wonderful for me.

Just thought I would share 🙂

Sy, x

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Author: Sy Calaelen

Sy Calaelen is a British writer, blogger and Youtube vlogger, though she isn't filming at the moment. English literature graduate and future social work graduate. Both sites will focus on literary reviews, book lists, comic books and nerd chat, writing and novel tips, and discussions in magick, paganism and the occult. A mixture of everything from her. Reach out on social media from Twitter, Tumblr, YouTube, Instagram, GoodReads, and Pinterest.

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