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All the Things Unsaid

This is a poem I wrote early this morning, which actually woke me from my sleep. If there is one thing on this planet I know for sure, it’s that love is too complicated, it hurts and it has been deaf to my heart. This poem needs some work, but for now I thought I would publish the first draft so as not to forget. It is written in free verse as I am hopeless at rhyme of any kind.

All the Things Unsaid

I tell you, its all the things unsaid.
The way you walk, the way you talk,
The words you choose when they flow from your head.
They bare a weight so heavy, but I never did see.
Because the world to an iridescent fool like me, is bright and rosy.
Perhaps just for a moment, I did wish you could see.

The times I would stand on the carousel, waiting for you to climb on.
Watching you stand so close, only to see the ground.
The moments I would creep toward you, hoping you could greet me,
Only to feel you look straight through me.
I am your ghost, and nothing more.
It wasn’t what you had said, but what your body did show,
All the things unsaid.

“Time will tell,” these patriarchs’ did gush,
And I soaked up every word.
I was the hungry child, with fears of disappointment.
The stupid fool for you, with a heart of glass.

How long must my troubled mind obscure me?
Those words you never spoke, so soft as they fell,
Shattered the glass in the morning swell.

An empty, yet painful realisation, woke me.
Words expressed in the past went unheard.
Feelings of passion played on and on, but,
All the things unsaid, bruised my head,
And lead to loves death.

Amazing, phantom like feelings gathered in my heart, and finally I let them create peace.
I stood on that carousel, and danced a million steps.
Knowing deep down, love only drowns those fools like me.

All the things you never said,
And the kind lies you did,
Let me grow a heart of stone.

Sy Calaelen 2012


Tools | Such a Petty Subject

This is a rant and a declaration to myself to stay strong, stay positive and be proud of myself. I will try to keep it short, and hopefully without too much swearing, but this issue just annoys me.

Last night I performed a ritual I had been planning for the most part of last month, and leading up to it I had been open to many things. Sadness, upset, bad news etc. I utilise these feelings by bottling them especially for times when I want to release them by turning them into something slightly calmer. That goes for the over excess of goodness that comes my way too. I like to be 50/50 as much as I can. There comes a point on my path where i stubble upon a block in the road; and this refers to people I encounter, whether they are good or bad. As a loner I have the advantage of sitting in the sidelines as people walk by, and I am able to watch and observe them. I don’t talk to people much, though I am trying, but thanks to be observations I am able to wade through a sea of people and stick with the individuals who really matter.

Genuine people are easily ignored, as one friend put it in an email, “Idiots are scared or intimidated by the genuine people, who seem to live a life of equilibrium and splendour without having to show the turmoil inside. These individuals, like you (referring to me) are always overlooked, judged and misunderstood. In time someone will stand up and praise you for showing them the way to their light. Don’t let these fools see that turmoil/drive, keep that passion for yourself. That’s enough to keep them guessing and it will drive them wild.”

That touched me, but I didn’t understand what it meant until today. (I had to dig it out of a folder I made on Yahoo, back in 2009! I am old…). The only reason I bring that up is for two queries really. One, what is the fuss about being a know it all with experience? I thought that was what people were looking for? And secondly, why is the majority drawn to people who preach utter crap?

I received an email this morning that kind of pissed me off. After working such a beautiful ritual, I finally went to sleep at 5am then awoke at 8am feeling refreshed and glad my ritual was over. Everything was fine until this horrible ‘idiot’-I called her/it an eejit in the 2nd or 3rd reply-who thought it was fair to bombard me with accusations of being a know it all and a fool for pumping the values of tools, symbols, altars etc. Firstly, let me just say to those of you who are new to the craft, the literal truth to using such correspondences are purely for magickal work, practice and most importantly to help you understand the spiritual truth. If you can’t separate literal values from the spiritual then please I beg you, practice and read a whole lot more. Eventually you will see, and eventually you will be an amazing practitioner as long as the OTB permits.

I was tempted to be a fool and film myself reading the conversations but I shan’t. I’ll copy up parts instead:

“There is no need for all that stuff. The occult stuff is old and no one uses it as its just words from dead men. What you are doing is just a waste of time… Get over it already.”

(She was referring to my occult series, yet another blow and now I feel to scrap them all)
My reply-“the occult and philosophies from centuries past are the base of the new age mountain you stand on. Without them you wouldn’t have very much to stand on now, would you?”

This is from the first email also:
“No one cares about those symbols. I saw your video on magic squares and thought how dumb. Why would anyone care.”

MR-“I think they are important. Not many people do care as they want a quick magick fix like you I presume? But there is a small group of people who do like that sort of theory and I am just one in hundreds who happens to break it down or open up a new area of intrigue for them.”

From the second reply:
“Oh so that’s why you talk about occult? Because you have experience? No one has experience these days. All that pretend magic from those people in robes are total fakes. What do you have to say about that?”

-“I have no idea what you are referring to. As far as my experience goes, I am not here to prove anything to anyone. Harry Potter perhaps? Yeah, that’s fictional.”
(That was all I wrote actually…)

Third, and last email:
“How long have you been ‘reading’? Clearly you are too stupid to realise magic is within. Not in the tools or those squares. Seriously get some proper education… BTW you are boring as hell, no wonder people don’t care about what you have to say.”

MR-“I know magick is within, but how else are you supposed to feel it if you don’t practice with tools, herbs and Kameas? Maybe not Kameas as you are too stupid for any angel/demon to come close enough to mock you. You are a fool for thinking I am just a ‘know it all’ young woman. I have been a practitioner for 13 years. I hate when people think its okay to bang on about why they should or shouldn’t use tools. Its such a petty topic. It doesn’t matter where or what the tool is, you’ll need it someday.”

The only thing I can think of are the beautiful Golden Dawn videos and layouts on various blogs and websites, as one main example. Yes they wear robes, yes they carve symbols in the air, but do you actually know what any of that means really? For a while I thought that stuff was theatrical, but as my studies grew and my practices flourished I found the reason to do them. It was honour and respect to the forces we often call on for magickal assistance, and mostly for a physical bonding with the divinity/universe surrounding us. How can someone state that the OTB is all around, and within when we restrict its natural flow to save face? Ever wonder why your magick isn’t as potent as others?

The Hermetic Principle of Correspondence is a great place to understand why you are taught about these in the first place. Here is my link to that.

The next time you feel the need to make a video or write to me or someone else complaining about their practices, watch/read all of their stuff first, get to know them (that way you have the right to an opinion) and make sure you have a leg to stand on. Better still ignore them or, go fuck a dog before you open your mouth to and about me and my practices. If people want the bullshit that is out there, then that’s fine. That is up to them. But I support, encourage and honour all the genuine folks, like myself, who don’t give a shit. We have the Gods on our side.




Hermeticism and Me | The Principle of Vibration


“Nothing rests; everything moves; everything vibrates.”–The Kybalion.

This Principle embodies the truth that “everything is in motion”; “everything vibrates”; “nothing is at rest”; facts which Modern Science endorses, and which each new scientific discovery tends to verify. And yet this Hermetic Principle was enunciated thousands of years ago, by the Masters of Ancient Egypt. This Principle explains that the differences between different manifestations of Matter, Energy, Mind, and even Spirit, result largely from varying rates of Vibration. From THE ALL, which is Pure Spirit, down to the grossest form of Matter, all is in vibration–the higher the vibration, the higher the position in the scale. The vibration of Spirit is at such an infinite rate of intensity and rapidity that it is practically at rest–just as a rapidly moving wheel seems to be motionless. And at the other end of the scale, there are gross forms of matter whose vibrations are so low as to seem at rest. Between these poles, there are millions upon millions of varying degrees of vibration… An understanding of this Principle, with the appropriate formulas, enables Hermetic students to control their own mental vibrations as well as those of others. The Masters also apply this Principle to the conquering of Natural phenomena, in various ways. “He who understands the Principle of Vibration, has grasped the sceptre of power,” says one of the old writers.

~ taken from The Kybalion, by the Three Initiates.

Vibrations are in everything. If you think about the first two principles, then this principle should be easy enough to grasp. We are connected to THE ALL, and we work with its energies through Correspondence, but now we are looking into how and what that energy does. Another point would run along the lines of how much a tiny droplet expands to make a large ripple, like I said; “as above so below, so below as above.” What you affect down here on the physical planes causes a ripple on the spiritual plane. Vibrations are in every macro or micro form on the planet and in the Universe, and all we need to ultimately do is be aware of them in order to work with them, or use particular vibrations for our Will.

When people say that everything has an energy signature, a vibration or in some cases a ripple of life, in some way they are referring to this principle by its understanding. I am someone who firmly believes that this vibration, this energy is something I need to feel and understand. That is the first stage of magickal manifestation in my mind. I used to sit at the local park reading books or writing whatever was on my mind. I would be aware of the colours around me, the grass and the height of the trees. I would notice people, notice how their clothing would blow in the wind. Once I became aware of my surroundings I would hone in on perhaps one minute detail in nature. If you look at a blade of grass you notice how still it is, how green, how alive or dying it is. The more you think about it, the deeper you delve into its metaphoric chasm the deeper you are letting your vibrations manifest, through Mentalism. The vibrations are the energies you concentrate on, you make them deeper, bigger, wider or smaller thus using them for your own Will.

In a better sense, you learn to become aware of your surroundings, aware of the vibrations and aware of how they work. If you don’t understand where energies come from and how they manifest, how do you expect to perform a spell successfully? You won’t have the control because you didn’t know or realise what other energies could manipulate your desire.  In the sense of the Kabbalah, you are taught to work with the base energies, the base metals of the mind first. Once you have grasped them and the teachings behind them you can move onto the next step on the ladder. The better you grasp each of these steps, the closer to magickal working and enlightenment you will become. Nothing should go wrong when working magick once you understand the concept of a working itself. Vibrations vibrate in everything, from the large to the small.

One small practice i would suggest is using crystals. Lie on your back and put the appropriate crystals on the appropriate chakra areas. Baring in mind there are more than seven, so stick with the popular upper 3 or 4 points. Once you have one or several crystals on your body just zone out. Relax and begin to meditate by concentrating on the breath. Slow normal breaths. Once you feel relaxed enough, which should take seconds to adjust, hone in one or all of the crystals. Feel their vibration as they connect with your personal vibrations. Are you feeling it? Good, you are manifesting energy that can be used for magick. That is the feeling you should get when working with crystals or performing healing sessions. If you don’t feel it, keep practising. When I meditate like that the crystals move slowly from side to side, never up and down always to a beat of 2 or 4. For some people it feels different. Just be aware of the subtle energies and you can’t go wrong.

Hopefully that makes sense =]

Sy, x


Sy Calaelen 2007 – With Crystals