I’ve just celebrated my 13th year as a practicing witch, on the 21st June. It was a quiet affair as I hadn’t told anyone, except the small few who saw my small announcement on my Facebook page. I didn’t want anyone to know as it would be regarded as boasting, and I hate admitting how intelligent I am to people. Even writing that last sentence makes me look like a total big head. I didn’t plan anything major, even though I hoped I would do something huge, but the events that lead up to it were lovely enough for me and they made up for it. Over the past few months I have been receiving very in-depth dreams, full of mystery and insight. I had expected them to come, but I didn’t ask the Gods for what I wanted. I let them give me insights or lessons as a when they pleased. All I did was receive messages and learn from them. Through the practice of mantra and developing a deeper sense of meditation (which has been crazy cool), I have been creating and working with a sigil I believe is meant for me and my personal workings. I usually ask the Gods for a sign when I need a wakeup call, or an ear for me to moan into, but I did not expect them to literally send me a sign; and a very elaborate one at that! Actually, looking at it now, it looks a mess if I’m honest =P
I’m still working on a few little bits. I won’t show you, but I will say, the Star of David, pentacle, circle and numbers are used. All of these symbols have been carefully dreamt, researched and separately charged in order to work. On top of that, because each symbol is personal to me and my path I have had to do rituals with them on my body and my altar. Each number and letter used, not in the Roman alphabet, is charged according to their own degree. Exempli grata, the Hebrew alphabet is used in two main ways: 1) for spelling and annunciation and, 2) each letter is a sigil in its own right – you can see this with the lamen’s, sigils and talismans shown in various occult books from Magick by Crowley to the many Golden Dawn books and their tarot collection. There is a selection of carefully chosen colours that I have lined up according to the Liber777 correspondences’ and the collections from two other books I have, which were all very similar. Thank the Gods!
I must say, with my final attention on the path I know is for me, it has been a magickal process getting here. Like most pagans I started out with Wicca, but the more I read and the more I practiced, the more the Gods opened themselves to me. I wasn’t hasty and I didn’t expect much. I just told them each year that my life belongs to them, and they should do what they see fit. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when I would cry myself to sleep wondering why I was single, or times when I fluffed a spell/ritual so bad that karma would be ready to kick me on the shin. I have had my ups and downs, including the moment when I knew Cernunnos was leaving me and replacing himself with Anubis. I was touched. For that, I am forever grateful. I had shared some amazing experiences with him and Cerridwen, but they knew I had a different calling and they let me go gently.
The last few years have been solid study, solid theory and solid practice. I have become more accustomed to creating the right path for myself without restraint, and with that sudden freedom I left the practice of Wicca and became a fully fledged witch. That sounds so adolescent… Haha! I dedicated my life to the practices of working within and more importantly outside the circle. I found the many contradictions that involved a so called free religion, and found them to be weak. My trust in the higher forces became very apparent a few years back when a flood of Greek, Roman and Egyptian works and deities made their way into my life and home. An influx of lessons, magick and slight prophetic insight came my way. All of that took me down the path of Hellenism, Kemetic paganism (harder form of Egyptian paganism) and Tameran paganism (softer), with the noble teachings of Buddhism and Yoga. For a very long time I worked with each vigorously, and the more I learnt the more I forged my own path. I came across Hermeticism when I was much younger, but the last few years it finally became a subject that didn’t seem hard anymore. I had learnt the basics and Hermeticism was finally open to me. I live the right way, seeking the right path and I believe I have found my meaning in life. For that, I believe the sigil is a sign made for me to remember this. It could be one of many as I have created sigils from dreams for the most part of this year so far. I have tons in my little red books of magickal delights, with their meanings written besides each one. Each sigil was created with well known and never before seen symbols which was enough proof that the Gods truly teach me well.
I don’t connect with people very well, but I have a relationship with the Gods that has made me strong. One day, I hope to finish these damn books and release the compendium of my magickal mind. Being a witch has made me valiant, intelligent and patient, for that I do truly live for each day, and I hope you all will too.
Each path to their own, carpe diem!
Sy Calaelen x x