He is funny, very creative and one of my major inspirations. The one thing I’ve never been able to say is how much I appreciate having him as a friend. He inspires me in ways I wish I could say, but I will keep them to myself. Just thinking those thoughts makes me want to slap myself silly. For the time that I’ve known him he has managed to open up that old comfort of books, films and writing. These things I hold them very dear to my heart as they make my mind grow and expand with pleasure, curiosity and pure excitement. Only within the past few months that I’ve actually managed to catch a few hours here and there to sit and read up on my favourite authors. Writers who make me tingle with a creative passion, and push me further and further toward my goal of being a writer myself. When I sit in bed, curled up under my fleece blanket I mutter words from the pages to myself, whether they are in French, English or German. I just love a good book. Anything that makes my mind tick, anything that urges a response or anything that leaves me in disgust is how a good tale must make you feel. Guy de Maupassant, Albert Camus and George R. R. Martin are currently making me feel such things. See how these great writers made one turn the page faster as they sunk into each line? This is how this man makes me feel. His words are hard, rough and cool (as in cool to the touch, not “Yo!”).
I have often imagined what it would be like if we were to finally meet up, but knowing me I’d trip up and start a cataclysmic event of accidents and mishaps before I cross the road to greet him. As wonderful as he is, he makes me foolish, dumb and silly. I find I face palm after every time we correspond because he’s said something I didn’t understand until the next day; embarrassing and stupid old me.
This morning I read the short story Love by Maupassant and it made me wonder about how I could write such a hard hitting and thoughtful story (free on Kindle). If I could find a passion (which thank the Gods I have many), I hope to be able to publish words half as decent as them and more importantly like him. One day. Hopefully one day soon.
There comes a moment in time when you just lay back and evaluate life and the people around you. Often I find I smile at the thoughts of laughter, the sad moments full of tears and others full of oddity. Other times I narrow my life events down to a handful of people, and wish they knew how important they are to me. They never will. People come and go in life, and I’m glad I’ve met the few people I have as they are all amazing and unique. If I die, I’ll be happy because I was inspired daily.
—Just in case you are wondering why I haven’t told him, or the other people who have inspired me, I’m a freak, and freaks tend to freak normal people out – and for that I’m currently scared I’ll lose him/them as friends. (Plus he has no idea I love his works so much – or at least I hope he doesn’t…).
“Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. Christopher Robin to Pooh” ~ A. A. Milne
Sy xx xx