If Dr. Seuss Wrote for Star Trek

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Picard:
Sigma Indri, that’s the star.
So, Data, how far? How far?
Data:
Our ship can get there very fast,
but still the trip will last and last.
We’ll have two days till we arrive,
but can the Indrans there survive?
Picard:
LaForge, please give us factor nine.
LaForge:
But sir, the engines are offline!
Picard:
Offline! But why? I want to go!
Please make is so, please make it so!
Riker:
But sir, if Geordi says we can’t,
we can’t, we mustn’t, and we shan’t.
The danger here is far to great.
Picard:
But surely we must not be late!
Troi:
I’m sensing anger and great ire.
Computer:
Alert! Alert! The ship’s on fire!
Picard:
The ship’s on fire? How could this be?
Who lit the fire?
Riker:
Not me.
Worf:
Not me.
Picard:
Computer, how long till we die?
Computer:
Eight minutes left to say goodbye.
Data:
May I suggest a course to take?
We could, I think, quite safely make
extinguishers from tractor beams,
and stop the fire, or so it seems…
Geordi:
Hurray! Hurray! You’ve saved the day!
Again I say, hurray! Hurray!
Picard:
Mr. Data, thank you much.
You’ve saved our lives, our ship, and such.
Troi:
We still must save the Indran planet-
Data:
Which, by the way, is made of granite…
Picard:
Enough, you android. Please desist.
We understand-we get your gist.
But can we get our ship to go?
Please, make it so, please make it so.
Geordi:
There’s sabotage among the wires,
and that’s what started all the fires.
Riker:
We have a saboteur? Oh, no!
We need to go! We need to go!
Troi:
We must seek out the traitor spy,
and lock him up, and ask him why?
Worf:
Ask him why? How sentimental.
I say give him problems dental.
Troi:
Are any Romulan ships around?
Have scanners said that they’ve been found?
Or is it Borg or some new threat
that we haven’t heard of yet?
I sense no malice in this crew.
Now what are we supposed to do?
Crusher:
Captain, please, the Indrans need us.
They cry out, Help us, clothe us, feed us!
I can’t just sit and let them die!
A doctor must attempt-must try!
Picard:
Doctor, please, we’ll get there soon.
Crusher:
They may be dead by Tuesday noon.
*Commercial break, commercial break.
How long will these dumb ads take?*
Worf:
The saboteur is in the brig.
He’s very strong and very big.
I had my phaser set on stun-
A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!
He would not budge, he would not fall.
He would not stun, no, not at all!
He changed into a stranger form,
all soft and purple, round and warm.
Picard:
Did you see this, Mr. Worf?
Did you see this creature morph?
Worf:
I did and then I beat him fairly,
hit him on the jaw-quite squarely.
Riker:
My commendations, Klingon friend!
Our troubles now are at an end.
Crusher:
Now let’s get our ship to fly,
and orbit yonder Indran sky!
Picard:
LaForge, please tell me we can go…?
Geordi:
Yes, sir, we can.
Picard:
Then make it so!

Author Unknown

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Author: Sy Calaelen

93, I'm Sy - a long term student of all things occult and mystical, and OTO initiate. A writer and university student of English Literature. Reach out to me on social media such as Twitter, Tumblr, YouTube, Instagram, GoodReads, and Pinterest. 93, 93/93

2 thoughts on “If Dr. Seuss Wrote for Star Trek

  1. I LOVED this! :D Thanks for sharing.

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