You know when you do spells for particular situations or events that seem completely in your favour, that turn out to be part of something much bigger and unknown to you, how do you deal with them?
I’ll give you an example of how my childish persistence mixed with a shot of God and Goddess went wrong, and how I managed to learn a lesson about magick.
A while ago, back in my young and bill free world I wanted a particular girl to leave my friend alone. This friend of a friend was taking my friend away from me, or at least that is what I saw. My friend who I shall call Annie, had been friends with me for a few years, her new friend who I shall call Ms. Vindictive made it clear that she didn’t like me, or how close Annie and I were. The first time I told Annie about my concern over how little she hung out with me she shrugged it off, and said I didn’t need to feel left out as we would meet up sometime. I didn’t get any calls or texts from Annie for weeks and it hurt. I remember sitting in my room and just pondering on the idea of putting a spell on Ms. Vindictive so she could leave Annie alone, or stay away long enough for Annie to realise she had other friends too. I did a tarot card reading and it was revealed that I shouldn’t get involved, and that I should be patient and go about making friends with other people. I didn’t like that outcome and decided on a spell plan.
I only had to wait 2 days for the New Moon, and I asked the Gods to make Ms. Vindictive be gone. I must say, the build up to that night made me feel guilty as hell. I should have listened to my gut response, but I perused it anyway. Every time I lit a candle and turned to pick up something whether it was a tool or the paper on which I inscribed Ms. Vindictive’s name and my reasons for her to leave my friendship alone, something would go wrong. Candles would blow out; others wouldn’t allow me to light them. What could have taken 20 minutes took an hour, but I managed to complete it in the end.
For the course of 2 weeks lots of things started going wrong. Animals would run away from me. Anytime I tried to contact Annie she would say she was busy, and she began to notice my dislike and jealous feelings toward Ms. Vindictive. I’d always be distracted during devotions to Cernunnos and I suddenly realised. After school one day I prayed to Cernunnos to ask why so many bad things were happening. My fear of being friendless yet again got a hold of me and the thought of losing the one person I finally felt normal around was disappearing.
Annie and I would argue over the following weeks, Ms. Vindictive was getting herself involved too. I wanted my friend, but not even Cernunnos would help. I would do tarot readings looking for a sign and all I got was messages of hurt and pain. What I didn’t realise at the time was that the pain didn’t belong to me. By then I gave up on our friendship and just stayed away. They had parties, went shopping and Annie even took up a hobby that I tried to share with her that she made clear would never amount to anything. It was devastating.
I went to my old altar and asked Cernunnos and Cerridwen to forgive me, and to help me remove the hurt from my mind. I got on with my studies and things slowly went back to normal. A few weeks later, I bumped into Annie who was sitting in town looking all worn out and upset. I said hi and asked how she was, but she wasn’t all that civil. I found out she started starving herself because Ms. Vindictive did when she was harming herself, and found out she was feeling guilty for Ms. Vindictive’s behaviour at their parties. Ms. Vindictive taught Annie how to cut herself, how to live on a small diet and lots of alcohol, and how to pick up plenty of guys. Annie said it was all fun at first, but it began to strain on her relationships with her boyfriend, parents and her oldest friends. A few of Annie’s friends had told her they didn’t like Ms. Vindictive all that much either, but they did something I didn’t do, they gave Annie the freedom to explore her friendship until it ran its course.
Ms. Vindictive and Annie stayed friends for a while, but the closer they became the more crazy life was and eventually they stopped being friends. By then I had learnt to move on and I had to learn to be by myself again. We continued talking for another year but our friendship fizzled out too.
I was alone, but I knew I had the Gods around me. At the time, and to this day, I always ask them for advice or help when I can’t deal with something by myself. They are my universal parents, my guardians and my teachers. If you ever feel compelled to take revenge or banish/curse someone your best bet is to hone in on that guilty feeling in your tummy and ask the Gods for help. Do not assume that you can get the better of someone just because you know how to tap into nature’s energies, those energies will manifest and pay you back at some point down the line.
Be careful with magick and tying in too much emotion into something you haven’t looked at properly. If I hadn’t cast the spell and just stood in the background, I wouldn’t have felt so negative all the time. I would have seen that Annie was stuck with a girl who was damaged, and I probably could have become friends with her or shown Annie my door was always open. Who knows, we could have still been friends today. The jealousy blinded me to the real issue at hand and that is something I’ll never forget.
Sy x x