Rant: I’m Pissed Off for Having Some Kind of Voice


I don’t want to offend anyone, and I do my best to stay out of conflict with people for many reasons, but right now not even The Wisdom of Ptah-Hotep can hold me back (I’m referring to Maxims 2, 3 and 4). I’m a supporter of keeping ancient wisdom as true to its roots as possible. Obviously there are times when you come across a spell/ritual done in the ancient times which you’d edit in order to use its magick now, like invoking the Gods. I also love reading something new and modern, about something old, my research never stops there. I dig further and further until I find the original ideas that cultivated such a subject. From that, I then find the parts that were originally perfect as far as magick goes, and work out how new ideas have been added to create something new. It’s not hard to create a new religion, so long as you have the information you need.

But it’s the waving around of ancient magick that pisses me off. Call me old school or a bitch just for being here, but when I come across anything wise, even I it’s less than a year old, I treat it with the uttermost respect. I had a lovely young lady who was about 14 send me a little chant over YouTube a while back. She sent it to me to add to my travel BOS and I thought it was a great idea. I was not going to dismiss her because of her age or for the fact that she gave me a spell. Why would I? The fact is, she gave me a little help and I have cherished it by thanking her and adding it to my BOS and my travel BOS. What she gave me was full of information and I loved that. She had not only done her research but I did the chant one day and the affects were amazing.

Call me a geek or a bitch who needs to shut up, but when it comes to certain practices I try my best to follow as much information as possible, in order to get on a path that’s right for me. I’m a perfectionist, and sadly you would be too if your whole life as a child was doing what people told you and to make sure you had a sure argument, otherwise shut up. I’m very hard on myself, it’s what I know and it’s how I conduct myself. If I wasn’t hard or stubborn to myself, I don’t think I would have found the path I was on or lived the way I have. Growing up, it was extremely lonely. I didn’t make proper friends with anyone until I was 13. Even then it was lonely, because what I found interesting, they didn’t, but it never stopped me being who I wanted to be.

I still feel after 11 years that I’m a beginner, as I love to learn and I love to read. My love for other countries and their language systems intrigue me. I’m not one of those people who demands that when they go on holiday everyone must speak English or I’m not going. I do my own little language course before I go away so I can practice their language and their way of life. That goes for my spiritual practice too. If I find a chant, mantra or incantation in another language I immediately want to know what it means and how people of the day did such magick. I’m a geek, it ain’t anything new.

With any practice I like to look for the bad side too, so I can find my own Middle Way. I never assume that something that many people see as wonderful isn’t wonderful, I just like to practice and set myself up for the bad things that could happen – not in an obsessive way of course, just a ‘look at both sides of the coin’. For me, I base anything new and exciting on that basic teaching of the Middle Way; the idea of going from extreme to the other, only to settle on perfection in the middle.

I’m sitting here doing breathing exercises to calm myself down. I’m already tempted to punch another hole in the door, but I know I shouldn’t as it won’t make things any better. I stand firm in what I believe and what I know, and yes sometimes the selfish me wishes I could give the books and knowledge I know to anyone who asks, but I can’t. I remember last December i was with a lovely friend, and we were talking about mantras, gurus and life and he said ‘the sooner you realise you can’t go around helping everyone, the quicker God will come and help you’. I understood, but now I see what he meant.

I’m sorry if my ideas, videos or comments are harsh and selfish, I don’t mean for them to be, but sometimes something that’s unfavoured in life needs to be heard once in a while. The world is not perfect, but whilst your on it, make your life perfect.

There is much more to this post, but I’m going to hold my tongue for now and go to the gym.

Some Sunday………


Author: Sy Calaelen

Sy Calaelen is a British writer, blogger and Youtube vlogger, though she isn't filming at the moment. English literature graduate. Both sites will focus on literary reviews, book lists, comic books and nerd chat, writing and novel tips, and discussions in magick, paganism and the occult. A mixture of everything from her. Reach out on social media from Twitter, Tumblr, YouTube, Instagram, GoodReads, and Pinterest.

5 thoughts on “Rant: I’m Pissed Off for Having Some Kind of Voice

  1. Aww lovey I understand where youre coming from if not what youre going through. This is a painful lesson to be going through and I hope that encouragement will be of some help. You can do it mon ami and youll be all the better from learning from it!

  2. Sy, as always, I’m very impressed on how you put your thoughts on paper!
    You are so to the point and you are absolutely right!
    Keep going on this way, it’s YOUR unique way. And of course, you will get mail or comments
    what makes you upset. You have feelings!!! But use it to strengthen your own opinion. Looking for the good side as wel as the bad side, to determine the Middle Way, it’s perfect!
    And I’m very pleased to hear that you thanked that 14 year old girl for her little chant.
    That probably had major positive and heartwarming influence on her (and on you!).
    She will never forget you, I’m sure of that!
    Remember that you came into her young life at the very beginning of her spiritual path. Very important!
    Sy, I wish you a good continuation of your Sunday and a blessed special beginning of the next week, by ending your “108 Days of Mantra”! B.B.^i^

  3. Oh dear. Sorry to hear that your feeling upset. It happens to the best of us. I’ve never watched any of your videos, or read any posts or comments from you that I would say were harsh or selfish. But you cannot please everyone in life, and you deserve to make yourself happy. Some people are just full of BS basically, and its best to take what they say with a grain of salt. Just because someones 14 doesn’t mean they can’t be wise. I often feel the young are sometimes wiser than the old, take children for example, they have an honest wisdom that we often lose as adults. I hope you start feeling better soon, have a beautiful Sunday. x

  4. Once in a while, I practise the “Captain Haddock” school of Magick, or at least I do whenever I feel irritated… (for examples, see here http://www.tintinologist.org/guides/lists/curses.html )
    – which we all might do at times, Ptha-Hotep nonwithstanding….

    Also, an old – but good music clip… for those who want to unwind somewhat,,,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s