To this day (or last night at minutes to 10) I had my first reading given to me. I was taken aback as to the fact that my lovely friend Jack offered to do a cartomancy reading for me, and I’d never had a reading before. I had my runes read back in 2001, by a friend’s mother, who happened to be the lady who introduced me to runes and tarot. Once I started to teach myself how to read the tarot through DeAgostini’s magazine series, Enhancing Your Mind, Body & Spirit, I never thought of asking other people to do my reading. I also stopped paying so much attention to horoscopes due to my own abilities and my deepening fascination with astrology. I felt, ‘If I can do it, then there’s no point’, and that was that. But last night opened a new chapter for me in so many ways.
For those of you noticed the full moon last night, it was absolutely magickal wasn’t it? I was all charged up, I felt new and happy, and it was my birthday. Forget the ‘whole new page’ thing; it was the turning of a ‘whole new chapter’ that made me feel great. I didn’t do any magick as I’d hoped, but I don’t like to plan things I have only half a heart for. I updated my back dated posts for my blogs and even considered making a new video, but I hesitated and decided against it. People had sent me birthday wishes all day and they were lovely, and some made me laugh. Jack contacted me and said he’d call later, but when he did I wasn’t expecting a reading, or what the reading revealed.
I’m so used to ‘giving’, that ‘receiving’ things is totally alien to me. I guess I can compare it to my YouTube channel. When people comment or email me to say they love my videos and how they find me inspiring, I smile because its kind that they think that, but then I suddenly think ‘Why? Why me?’ There are plenty of other pagans on YouTube who are way more fantastical than I am. More people who have charisma and people who stick to the point of their message throughout 10 to 15 minutes. I think, I’m a big annoying nerd who spent her childhood days reading in some corner of the library, hiding from the bullies. Why on earth would you like me? I’m an alternative witch, who practises what she preaches and admits to faults in front of everyone. I’m more concerned with the amount of friends I can gain and talk to as much as possible, rather than numbers of subscribers (actually, keeping an eye on my subscriber list freaks me out). I’m a natural born giver, not a taker.
So when Jack offered to read for me, I was excited. Excited about the prospect of possible good things and bad things that would come my way, and the advice he’d give me. Funny thing was, when he went through the first reading with me I was surprised at how spot on he was with the two subjects I initially brought up. I was even more surprised with the second reading when he revealed things I’d never told anyone, not even him. They were more in line with my own worries, and thoughts about myself, and the thoughts of feeling bad about who I was and what I may be presenting to people. I had my hopes and fears like any client, and Jack revealed more about me in this reading. I think he too was shocked by the constant ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ (or maybe he was feeling awkward about my random noises over the phone…). We both came up with various solutions after the reading, as a way to start to let things flow the way they need to and how I have to try and stay focused on something in order to gain wonderful rewards. One of the main themes we got, as mentioned before, was the destructive way I thought of myself, so that’s something I really need to work on.
I’m not going to go into any detail about the reading, as it’s something I would like to keep quiet until I find my own ‘place’ within myself. I just need to be a bit more positive and more accepting of myself. It was a spot on reading, and opened my eyes to new possibilities on that full moon night, my birthday.
Thanks Jack x x