In a way this is the turning of a new chapter for me. I’m about open myself to the path of some kind of awakening, and the books and scriptures I’ve stuck my rather ‘annoyingly small’ nose into have really opened my eyes. There is so much I want to say, but for some reason I can’t find the right words. My plans to conduct the 108 days of meditation have come at the right time, and in the next 2 weeks I’ll start. However, I’ve been writing the odd phrase in my little red book for a few days now… though I cheated at first, I used Evernote on my BlackBerry as I was away with my boyfriend… I really feel I’m coming to ahead with my spiritual practice, and for some reason I feel more alive than ever.
I’m awake already ina way. I feel I’m finally able to look back at the ladder I’ve been climbing my whole life and I’m able to see down through the clouds at green pastures and the dark clouds close by. In some way, I’m learning to ‘let-go’ of myself, and prepare myself for the worst to come if it may. My energy level is only halfway at the moment, but at times, I just can’t help but smile.
I downloaded Deva Premal’s newest album ‘Tibetan Mantras for Turbulent Times’ and I have been chanting to a few of the mantras already, and they rock! My favourite mantra, which I love to chant was played on the album and honestly, I cried for a while. I listened to it over and over with my mala beads in hand for a good 20 minutes. I felt as if i was released in some way. I made myself realise that its okay to be lonely, as I get time to myself, and it’s okay not to have much of a voice, as my words come out through my pen (or phone) to people I know who will read them and comfort me. I’m not alone, and neither are you folks. In some way, we have each other, and I hope I’ll be the one you can inspire you after all the inspiration I’ve recieved already from you guys.
For now, listen to the mantra. It has been on my list of top mantras for personal growth and compassion, not just to other people and life’s situations, but to myself.
Funny thing is, Papa J (you know who you are!) sent me the same mantra on CD this morning! Yay!