With my last post, about how personal issues can stop you realising your full potential I suddenly remembered something that will always be with me for as long as I live; Loneliness.
I’m a very out going sort of girl, I also find it incredibly easy to get drunk on night-time oxygen when out with friends. I speak with my hands, I love learning new things, new languages and all sorts of stuff. I can walk into a room full of people, introduce myself to a few folks and then go sit in the corner quite happily, without waiting for someone to come over. The thing is, on the spiritual front, there is a lot to learn, and what is super popular to many people drives me the other way. When I first got into Wicca, it was gentle, I was sort of on my own (with friends coming and going), but I was free to do what I wanted. Back then everything rested on Celtic traditions and Norse lore. I met loads of pagans who were northern heathen’s, re-constructionists and even the standard Wiccan who only honoured Celtic, Norse and Germanic pagan magick. Back then I felt like I fit in, I knew the names of deities and only a handful of stories surrounding them, but I wasn’t ‘there’. Over time I grew away from those traditions as I didn’t fit in with the whole cosmology of it all.
The only thing I took from them was my love for Cerridwen and Cernnunos, and the fact that deep down I just needed to find something I could call my own. I found that the more people talked about ‘this’ or ‘that’ they would drive me away from venturing into what it was they were getting involved with. That isn’t to say that i don’t like herbs, divination or popular magick, it’s just, I don’t like practising something thousands of people are doing too. I’ll get a warped view. As much as loneliness taunts me, it’s also one of my most spiritual gifts. I’m able to communicate better, because I gave myself time to get to know myself. During the peek of my practice I was awakened to Yoga, Buddhism and eventually Hellenistic and Kemetic paths. I like being lonely because it makes me different to most people. Call me what you may, but I’m a very keen and very proud witch, as I’ve looked into paths outside of my front door and drawn them back to myself.
With my most recent video, I get the question on how to become a witch a lot. I still don’t have a clue. I just practise magick, witchcraft and other forms of spiritual living to make my own lifestyle. I know that if I were invited to a moot or gathering with other Wiccans or Witches I’d feel more out of place than anything, but the only difference? The lonely side of me is what pushes me ahead in life. I’m the rose in the lavender field, the ripple in the pond. I don’t associate myself with popular Wiccan paths these days, I look into something much older knowing the first few people I bump into will know of them, but they won’t be practitioners’. How many people can jump up and say ‘I’m a witch! I’m a yoga witch, and Buddhist witch, a Hellenistic and Kemetic witch?’ I can. I’m me, myself and I.
I love sharing who I am on Youtube, and more than ever I’ve met some wonderful people too. Loneliness isn’t a bad thing, especially if you realise you are still friends with you when the day ends. Use your lonliness to cultivate positivity, confidence, nirvana, raise energy/prana/chi. Be yourself, and if you are drawn to ther things, don’t assume you have to put it to the side, draw from it, grow from it. Let all kinds of teachings and things nourish your mind, your heart and your liver. Only then my friend, you’ll see how big you really are.
How lonely and unique are you?
Blessings on you and yours, Sy x
This video is helpful for those who want to start out learning Witchcraft: