This is more of a rant than anything, but I hate being young and misunderstood. It’s the ‘cultural generation gap’ all over again – bring on the Pistols!
I was having a lovely conversation with my boyfriend who like me is spiritual. The thing I love most about people I’ve met is the diverse understandings of teachings or how to live life in various ways. No matter how ‘different’ some people think they are, they are just the same as me, but they use different names. Sorry if that sounds too generic, but a lot of the world’s teachings are very similar, there’s no denying that.
However, when age comes into play I become defensive and quiet. I don’t fit into any stereotypes, and whilst that’s a good thing, it can be very lonely and hard. People judge me based on my age, where I live and my colour. More than anything people assume I’m not up to scratch because I’m 22. How can I know so much at my age? How can someone like me be into Wicca and Witchcraft and be so intelligent? How is it possible? – Those are just some of the questions I’ve had since being on the internet, long before Youtube. Some people I’ve had the honour in meeting, and forming great friendships with approached me in a different light. They would compliment me on what I had to say, and then add how surprised they were that I’m so young. That’s nice, it’s the same as the other questions, but put in a way that makes me want to engage in a conversation with that person.
I’m human, like anyone else. I can’t be respectful all the time, although ideally I should. When someone challenges my intellect I’m all for giving them an answer. However, the answer they expect me to give is not on my mind, and it’s not what I believe. Recently I’ve been asked what spells I’d do for revenge against someone. I personally wouldn’t do anything; I’d protect myself and ask the Gods to intervene if they see necessary, otherwise I just see it as a road block and need to drive the other side, hence leaving it behind. Maybe that question was brought up purely because this person needed help, but that’s the answer I gave and it’s a method I use in everyday life.
I wish I could just present everything about what happened to me in my life, and use that as the basis to my explanation as to why i read so much. I have given a few details… well, one detail and that’s down to the bullying I received growing up. I don’t like talking about my home life as it was abusive, I was neglected and today it’s more stressful than ever, but I have to deal with it until I start living on my own again. I wish I could go into detail about why at my age I decided on being celibate, even though I’ve recently embarked on my first serious relationship but my reasons make it hard to talk about. Life for me was hard, but looking back I know I have healed, and the books and the people I’d met helped me with that.
I spent a lot of alone time being creative in some way, whether it be drawing, writing or reading. I was looking for and found a world I could escape to and be happy. What I’ve learnt from life experiences, spirituality, religion and people is valuable to me. I’ll never change to fit into that stereotype of the ‘sex obsessed young retard living in the crime capital of England’. I’m a 22 year old woman, with a lot on her plate, who looks at the world with both eyes, rather than one. I can’t help it.
I’m in no way saying I wish to be older, so people could take me seriously, I’m just stating that each person has their reasons as to what they believe and why they act the way they do. I love making videos, but at times I find it extremely difficult to explain fully what I’d love to say, hence why i have a blog, I’m more of a writer than a speaker. People often mistake what I’m saying, as I use general terms, but there is far more meaning and significance in what I say and I apologise deeply that I confuse people; I don’t mean to. I don’t like to argue, or create conflict, but if someone does misunderstand what I present, then I tell them as respectfully as I can what I meant. I like referring to what’s known as the ‘Oldest Book in the World’ – written by the ancient scholar Ptah Hotep are three maxims I love:
Maxim 2 – On the art of debate with someone who thinks himself superior:
In debate with an opponent who is both sure of himself and seems more skilful than you, keep your head down and don’t over-react. Don’t challenge him: you won’t succeed in matching his argument. But wait till he puts his own case badly, then destroy him utterly by refusing to oppose him. He will be shown up as an ignoramus and clear thinking will win the day over his wordiness.
Maxim 3 – On the art of debate with an equal adversary:
In debate with an equal opponent, your skill is shown to its best advantage if you remain silent while he flounders in speech. The audience will be unmoved by his arguments while your reputation will soar in the eyes of the great ones.
Maxim 4 – On the art of debate with an inferior:
In debate with an opponent with is by no means your equal, do not take advantage of his weakness by attacking him. Let him show his own mediocrity and he himself will provide the rod with which to beat his own back. Resist the temptation to show him up and don’t lose your temper. It is despicable to crush an inferior. People will then act according to your wishes, while your adversary will sink in the eyes of the great ones.
There is more to a person, so be careful in your choice of words. Don’t assume the person you’re talking to is unlearned just because you may know more, or look at life differently. Be respectful and just.