This is a topic that raises many a question and debate in ones life, and definitely mine. It seems most people I know or see on YouTube are out and proud wiccans/pagans/witches etc, and that’s fab, but what I can’t stand from some people is the attitude it brings.
In my everyday life, I’ve been lucky enough to meet some rather.. ‘Quirky’ characters who not only are pagans to some degree, but they practise a way of life that is great for them and not for me. Other pagans can shove their out and out story down your throat, or they make it obvious they have ‘one over’ on you (when in reality they usually don’t when knowledge comes into play). Have you met any of these people? I just do what I do.
I’m just a human with magical abilities and a great brain for magical psychology (divination) and reading books. I’m not ‘the best witch on the block’ and neither do I want to be. I just want to be comfortable with myself and how I’ll live my life.
I’m not yet out and so far it hasn’t done me any harm. If anything it makes me strengthen my patience, waiting for the day where I’m living on my own or with a partner where the rules on my life come into play. I’ll be out then, and my God, no one will be allowed to say or do anything then. For the time being I have to be patient, out of respect for the ‘yummy mummies’ who constantly compare their Oxford/Cambridge pedigree children with me, and for the sake of my uber christian Aunts who will skin me alive before having heart attacks.
It sucks that I can’t just be me. Its annoying, its heart wrenching at times, it drives me crazy, but all I can do is wait. My mum knows I practise and believe in something other than the Christian God, but I am forbid from using incense sticks and she doesn’t respect my prayer time. She’s okay otherwise (I pray when she and the kids aren’t around). I can perform Yoga, Pilates and meditation with ease (keeps my sister fit too), but magick? Oh no!
Rituals that I perform are either in hotel rooms, at a friends house or in my room when the kids aren’t around. I don’t get much time to myself but the precious moments I do, I tighten my breeches and read.
I can’t give advice, I don’t feel I should. For now the saying ‘Knowledge is power’ is my therapy. It doesn’t matter if your in or out, what’s important is what you know and what you believe, that’s what matters. Hold that in your heart and believe me life will be better.
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