24/04/07 – Misinterpreted Imperfections

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Nothing is what it seems. It seems I am living a double life. At school/college I’m known as the crazy black chic who is loud and bubbly. Only problem I have been lying to myself because society will see my acts of confrontation as wrong. The life I lead outside of this so called bubble is dark and depressing. No one knows the real me and sometimes I scare myself when I do things I promised I would never do.

There are so many imperfections about my physicality that are misinterpreted. I am teased racially because I don’t ‘belong’ in a particular ethnic group. I get the piss ripped out of me by my ‘friends’, I don’t tell them which is stupid. I only do the wrong things to fit the criteria they want me to fit. I believe what they say and it controls my life. Guys don’t want me they want a girl like my ex best buddy, she’s perfect as far as I know. She is slim, guys just love her. I tried to copy her by not eating much in a day, I worked out like crazy to get a toned tummy like hers. I’m still ugly as far I am concerned. I don’t know what to do.


Sy xx


Author: Sy Calaelen

Sy Calaelen is a British writer, blogger and Youtube vlogger, though she isn't filming at the moment. English literature graduate. Both sites will focus on literary reviews, book lists, comic books and nerd chat, writing and novel tips, and discussions in magick, paganism and the occult. A mixture of everything from her. Reach out on social media from Twitter, Tumblr, YouTube, Instagram, GoodReads, and Pinterest.

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