For a long time I wanted to give up on finding love. Not love as in true love but a mini love like it with a guy I can call my own, my world. It got the point where I would divine a lot with my tarot cards, I-Ching and runes. I would ask little things like: ‘Will I find love this year?’, ‘Will I get married?’, ‘Will a guy ask me to be his girlfriend?’. I found I kept on asking the same question through different form and eventually they all came up with the same answer: ‘Not yet! You will but just hold on!’ well, the stars didn’t reveal the answer like that it was a lot more subtle.
I decided to take matters into my own hands by flirting a little but it didn’t work so I would spend hours at a time up in room listening to how my friends’ partners were nice or bad to them. I wanted someone to talk about, someone who would talk about me through love. A few months back I asked my friend Ellie what magazines she’s reading now, it was a random questions but she said that after leaving Bedford she continued reading our favourite magazine (at the time) Cosmo Girl. When she turned 17 she was introduced to Cosmopolitan. I did buy a Cosmo magazine a long time ago but I didn’t understand it the words were complicated. I bought Junes issue of Cosmopolitan and fell in love with the articles and fashion so I have started buying an issue every month. Hopefully I’ll introduce Cosmo to Sarah.
Each month I try to commit to memory little tips and quotes from the ‘Single Girl & Life’ pages. At first being single scared me a lot and I really thought love had given up on me like people do all the time. after a while I made up a question I should ask the I-Ching cards. I asked, “Should I give up on love?” the cards revealed a kind and caring answer, the answer the universe had been throwing at me for so long. It read ‘Don’t go searching. Wait patiently.’ At first I questioned about how I should give up on my paranoia but some how with the help of Cosmo I began loving my single life, even if that meant I wouldn’t see any of my friends since they are all busy with their lovers.