Sy Calaelen

Rouge Vertigo pt.1

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After a long day of receiving nasty comments from my peers I go to bed in pain.To make myself feel better, to lessen the pain of being hated I escape into rouge vertigo. I get my 6 inch razor and cut deep into my skin. I try to run but the pain of everyday life always finds me so I cut a little deeper. Blood is running as memories are dripping away. I started cutting since I was 12, so yeah I have problems. When I was 13 I met this cool Goth group and they welcomed me with open arms. This was the first time I felt wanted by people. They would call me all the time to see if I was busy or not. They would drive by and we’d all go to the cinema, hang in the park next to the cemetery, listen to music or do drugs at a friend’s house. They didn’t pressure me into taking drugs’, in fact come to think of it they didn’t pressure anyone. About 7 out of the group of 30 did drugs.

After a while they all left school to go to college or university to become teachers, doctors etc. I was left behind because I was one of the youngest of the group. I stayed with the left behind people and I picked up cutting a persons name in my arm. Ever since then I would carve the names of people who hurt me in my skin. It always stung at first but after a while I would bleed to the point where I would feel good about releasing pain. I stopped for almost a year but she hurt me and now I started cutting even more.The old scars are being resurfaced and she doesn’t understand why…

Mood:Alone
Music:You Can Run, But We’ll Find You – Matchbook Romance

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Author: Sy Calaelen

Sy Calaelen is a British writer, blogger and Youtube vlogger, though she isn't filming at the moment. English literature graduate and future social work graduate. Both sites will focus on literary reviews, book lists, comic books and nerd chat, writing and novel tips, and discussions in magick, paganism and the occult. A mixture of everything from her. Reach out on social media from Twitter, Tumblr, YouTube, Instagram, GoodReads, and Pinterest.

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