This is a rant and a declaration to myself to stay strong, stay positive and be proud of myself. I will try to keep it short, and hopefully without too much swearing, but this issue just annoys me.
Last night I performed a ritual I had been planning for the most part of last month, and leading up to it I had been open to many things. Sadness, upset, bad news etc. I utilise these feelings by bottling them especially for times when I want to release them by turning them into something slightly calmer. That goes for the over excess of goodness that comes my way too. I like to be 50/50 as much as I can. There comes a point on my path where i stubble upon a block in the road; and this refers to people I encounter, whether they are good or bad. As a loner I have the advantage of sitting in the sidelines as people walk by, and I am able to watch and observe them. I don’t talk to people much, though I am trying, but thanks to be observations I am able to wade through a sea of people and stick with the individuals who really matter.
Genuine people are easily ignored, as one friend put it in an email, “Idiots are scared or intimidated by the genuine people, who seem to live a life of equilibrium and splendour without having to show the turmoil inside. These individuals, like you (referring to me) are always overlooked, judged and misunderstood. In time someone will stand up and praise you for showing them the way to their light. Don’t let these fools see that turmoil/drive, keep that passion for yourself. That’s enough to keep them guessing and it will drive them wild.”
That touched me, but I didn’t understand what it meant until today. (I had to dig it out of a folder I made on Yahoo, back in 2009! I am old…). The only reason I bring that up is for two queries really. One, what is the fuss about being a know it all with experience? I thought that was what people were looking for? And secondly, why is the majority drawn to people who preach utter crap?
I received an email this morning that kind of pissed me off. After working such a beautiful ritual, I finally went to sleep at 5am then awoke at 8am feeling refreshed and glad my ritual was over. Everything was fine until this horrible ‘idiot’-I called her/it an eejit in the 2nd or 3rd reply-who thought it was fair to bombard me with accusations of being a know it all and a fool for pumping the values of tools, symbols, altars etc. Firstly, let me just say to those of you who are new to the craft, the literal truth to using such correspondences are purely for magickal work, practice and most importantly to help you understand the spiritual truth. If you can’t separate literal values from the spiritual then please I beg you, practice and read a whole lot more. Eventually you will see, and eventually you will be an amazing practitioner as long as the OTB permits.
I was tempted to be a fool and film myself reading the conversations but I shan’t. I’ll copy up parts instead:
“There is no need for all that stuff. The occult stuff is old and no one uses it as its just words from dead men. What you are doing is just a waste of time… Get over it already.”
(She was referring to my occult series, yet another blow and now I feel to scrap them all)
My reply-”the occult and philosophies from centuries past are the base of the new age mountain you stand on. Without them you wouldn’t have very much to stand on now, would you?”
This is from the first email also:
“No one cares about those symbols. I saw your video on magic squares and thought how dumb. Why would anyone care.”
MR-”I think they are important. Not many people do care as they want a quick magick fix like you I presume? But there is a small group of people who do like that sort of theory and I am just one in hundreds who happens to break it down or open up a new area of intrigue for them.”
From the second reply:
“Oh so that’s why you talk about occult? Because you have experience? No one has experience these days. All that pretend magic from those people in robes are total fakes. What do you have to say about that?”
-”I have no idea what you are referring to. As far as my experience goes, I am not here to prove anything to anyone. Harry Potter perhaps? Yeah, that’s fictional.”
(That was all I wrote actually…)
Third, and last email:
“How long have you been ‘reading’? Clearly you are too stupid to realise magic is within. Not in the tools or those squares. Seriously get some proper education… BTW you are boring as hell, no wonder people don’t care about what you have to say.”
MR-”I know magick is within, but how else are you supposed to feel it if you don’t practice with tools, herbs and Kameas? Maybe not Kameas as you are too stupid for any angel/demon to come close enough to mock you. You are a fool for thinking I am just a ‘know it all’ young woman. I have been a practitioner for 13 years. I hate when people think its okay to bang on about why they should or shouldn’t use tools. Its such a petty topic. It doesn’t matter where or what the tool is, you’ll need it someday.”
The only thing I can think of are the beautiful Golden Dawn videos and layouts on various blogs and websites, as one main example. Yes they wear robes, yes they carve symbols in the air, but do you actually know what any of that means really? For a while I thought that stuff was theatrical, but as my studies grew and my practices flourished I found the reason to do them. It was honour and respect to the forces we often call on for magickal assistance, and mostly for a physical bonding with the divinity/universe surrounding us. How can someone state that the OTB is all around, and within when we restrict its natural flow to save face? Ever wonder why your magick isn’t as potent as others?
The Hermetic Principle of Correspondence is a great place to understand why you are taught about these in the first place. Here is my link to that.
The next time you feel the need to make a video or write to me or someone else complaining about their practices, watch/read all of their stuff first, get to know them (that way you have the right to an opinion) and make sure you have a leg to stand on. Better still ignore them or, go fuck a dog before you open your mouth to and about me and my practices. If people want the bullshit that is out there, then that’s fine. That is up to them. But I support, encourage and honour all the genuine folks, like myself, who don’t give a shit. We have the Gods on our side.