One of my Crazy Creative Moments

About an hour ago I was chatting away with Mr. Vamp, one of my dearest friends and fellow Thelemite. Ever since I found a firm grounding in my magickal lifestyle, I have slowly learnt to let go of my inhibitions and become the young woman I am to be. With my slightly ‘close-to-the-edge’ mental instability I am able to come up with plans for the future, and short and funny anecdotes. I am a writer by heart, soul and hopefully career, but tonight was weird and random.

With a certain few people I have the pleasure of knowing very well, I can let go and just be my crazy self with them. Mostly because they love me either way, and won’t insult me. Its nice to know you can breathe perfectly around those folks. It creates a sense of sentimentality, that you would literally break your heart for. As for Mr. Vamp or Mr. Lestat as I call him on this blog at times, he is miles away (well, over the Irish sea) but we always have time to chat about Thelema, Crowley love, poems, education and my hopeful plans to become a member of the OTO very soon. Tonight was like any other night. We talked about rubbish, stood up for Hymenaeus Beta and I briefly mentioned an idea I have put in one of my forth coming books about how to get families and children involved with their parents pagan/occult religions or lifestyles, as they are often never thought of. I won’t divulge any plans here as I would like to see my plan come to light in a few years once I get my teaching degrees. However, I share random stories, ideas, poems and scenes with Mr. Vamp and I wrote the following within seconds.

Set the scene:
A mother, me (in a few years) has just arrived in a hotel lounge in London to pick up her two children, and check out. She has spent the most part of 2 nights attending a Thelemic mass/ritual/sabbat celebration of some kind. There is a kids club type place where occultists’, Thelemites etc send their young ones to meditate, hear pagan stories and learn about magick in its simplest form. Think of it as a glorified pagan babysitting centre. A typical and very short anecdote occurs just as the mother meets her little ones:

Mother: “Hi sweety! What did you and Aurelia do at mass club?”

Zeke: “We did some colouring, and we sat and listened to stories about Egypt!”

Aurelia: “Yeah! And we did a meditation! And said aum!”

Zeke: “And we prayed to the Gods asking them to help is be better people and stuff, it was fun!”

Aurelia: “Yeah and Zeke and this other boy farted really loud!”
[zeke hits his little sister]

Mother: “Zeke! That is rude! Say sorry! Or else Bartzabel won’t be coming for dinner tonight!”

Its short, doesn’t make sense to a lot of you, but I just had to blog it, plus I wouldn’t summon spirits around children. I am very creative, and think of stories on the spot. Funny thing is, until now, my creativity has been a secret. I only ever blog and vlog, as I know most don’t know about me. Its my little secret I share with myself and friends at times. Sadly, I don’t have anything major to give to the pagan community, I don’t have a business or anything. Just a lopsided smile and fingers that write.

Ciao for now, 93s x

I’m Not Crazy After-all | Hidden Wisdom Lecture

I was sent a link about Tim Wallace-Murphy’s book ‘Hidden Wisdom: Secrets of the Western Esoteric Tradition’, which I have put in my Amazon basket already. It is such a lovely lecture, presented by an equally lovely man. He goes into a lot of detail about the esoteric traditions and their roots, ranging as far back as the Ancient Egyptians, Ancient Greeks/Romans with information on the Knights Templar and symbology. However, for this post I am only going to pull out one or two areas that rung true to me, or at least got me thinking.

Watch the lecture here, it’s a must see!

It is the ideal lecture on understanding where your magickal teachings come from. More than anything, I picked up early on about the difference between religion and spirituality, in which he stated and agreed with an old friend that religion is man-made, whilst spirituality is natural and free. I have always thought this, and deep down I knew I was spiritual, and always felt akin to my spiritual friends. I was pretty much alone in my early theories, arguing back and fourth with religious people from all walks of life, whether it was Christians, Wiccans and most recently, a handful of Thelemites. They all pretty much said the same thing, “You need religion to get on in life. You can’t have spirituality without religion.” Which I have disproved so many times; I am living proof. On the other side, when I say that I believe esoteric traditions to be more spiritually grounded, people have often told me I am wrong too. Exempli gratia, witchcraft is spirituality, Druidry and Thelema are considered religions with a direct link to spiritual purity, and so I would categorise them as being ‘Spiritual Religions’. As much as I dislike the word religion, I use it to emphasise the difference between freedom and structure (or doctrine). What has me perplexed is the fact that something like Thelema, which is a religion, clearly teaches you that in order to be spiritual you must go out and seek that natural water for your own heart, which is a spiritual notion, so I can’t think of Thelema as a religion all the time. Thelema is too beautiful and life affirming to have a dirty word like “Religion’ bestowed on it? Am I crazy? I can feel the crazy looks…

It is nice to know that my theories aren’t all hokum after all. Guru Jonboi (haha) would agree with me, on the grounds that spirituality and religions are two different things. Thinking back to the first phone call we had when we spoke about their differences, listening to what he was saying sent warmth down my spine; everything he said, was almost word for word coming from my mind. It felt great. To this day we still read from the same page, regardless of where we are spiritually. He leans more to the Eastern philosophies, whilst I roam the wilds of the Ancients.

Later on Wallace-Murphy goes into detail about the early Ancient Egyptian influence on the creation of Judaism. I came across a few similarities and arguments during my research and practice days. I often looked up the beginnings of The Emerald Tablet, The Kybalion and its inspirations, Kemeticism and the famed Hermes Trismestagus who could have been Moses. It’s fascinating information I tell you. It makes me think up new possible theories, but I have taught myself not to say anything out loud to people in case I am stomped on by a hundred angry men (that’s why I write on my blog, only a few eyes read it, so I can get away with it! ).

I have always felt proud of where I was going, knowing I was right all along. All of the lessons, paths and practices I have adopted are spiritual without a doubt, and to top it off, they all fall under Hermetic practises, and Thelema most certainly. As I have mentioned a few times, my spiritual life in the last 13 years has grown, and I have only dropped Wicca, the Wiccan Rede and the minor Celtic traditions as the religious aspect of my search for a religiously spiritual home. Everything else has stayed firmly in place, as I need them all to function as a witch, Thelemite and esoteric occultist. Gnosis anyone? Joke.

I am so happy to finally prove that I am on the right track! In your face! XD

Sy, x

24th Birthday Reading

This is a quick post, as I just wanted to share the three cards I pulled yesterday morning. The deck I am using is my Lo Scarabeo deck, highly influenced by some of the the better known decks; Raider Waite, Tarot de Marseilles and Crowley’s Thoth Deck. The formation I chose is one of my favourites, the simple three card spread. It’s basic order is read as past, present and future. Easy. I concentrated on the year ahead, between now and next August and these are the cards hat popped out:

XX Judgement, to me meaning how my life lead to a point where I needed to think about what I had done. I knew I was heading somewhere, and I guess my judgement or the revival of something not so new was on the way. Remember I mentioned the transition I was feeling a while back and recently?

XIII Death. This card symbolises my current state. A state of renewal and the overall conclusion to my personal transformation. The conclusion to the judgement I have received. Suddenly everything is coming to ahead, but regardless of how I feel deep down, spiritually I know I am in the right place, or at least I am very close.

XII Hanged Man. Looking at the spread so far, I have to say it looked damn scary! But I am well versed with the tarot so I know this card has possibly a nice ending. This card definitely says ‘transcendence’ all over it. Look how serene and pleased the hanged man looks. He is at peace, and that makes him happy. He has gone from the material world to the spiritual. Maybe I am closer to my own attainment than I think. Peace is around the corner.

If any of you would like to read the cards that have been pulled, feel free!

Thank you for my birthday wishes people! Love you all!!

Sy Calaelen, x x x x x

Shakespeare is my Therapist | Richard II

Ben Whishaw as King Richard II from BBC 2 ‘The Hollow Crown’ (2012)

I have been studying and reading up on Shakespeare for the past few weeks for college. Luckily, I found Shakespeare as a young child and fell for his works almost immediately. Over the years, his sonnets and the beautiful and yet tragic stories he weaved through his epic plays imbued in my heart opening the way I hoped to head; wishing either to study Shakespeare and take up acting seriously or write nearly as half as good at thew writers who hoped to write nearly as half as good as him. If you look into Shakespeare, the well written soliloquies revealed the innermost thoughts of his characters, are the most famous speeches in the world, not just within the realm of English Literature or Drama. With some of his most famous ‘To be or not to be’ from Hamlet, or the dagger speech from Macbeth,  ’Is this a dagger which I see before me‘. I won’t go into a huge amount of detail about how Shakespeare has been a huge influence on me, I’ll save that for a later post, but I will say this: Shakespeare has been the number one writer I can turn to when needing emotional advice, or help with emotional turmoil. Okay, I won’t stab myself or drink poison, but you get my drift. His words show both madness, love and passion, and I agree with Simon Schama’s view of him; he knew humans too well. [this is a crap introduction, forgive me, time was running out!]

I became absorbed in the various shows and documentaries on Shakespeare, but thanks to the BBC I just had to share with you, one of the most blessed monologues I had learnt as a child, from Richard II, Act III, Scene 2:

KING RICHARD II

No matter where; of comfort no man speak:
Let’s talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs;
Make dust our paper and with rainy eyes
Write sorrow on the bosom of the earth,
Let’s choose executors and talk of wills:
And yet not so, for what can we bequeath
Save our deposed bodies to the ground?
Our lands, our lives and all are Bolingbroke’s,
And nothing can we call our own but death
And that small model of the barren earth
Which serves as paste and cover to our bones.
For God’s sake, let us sit upon the ground
And tell sad stories of the death of kings;
How some have been deposed; some slain in war,
Some haunted by the ghosts they have deposed;
Some poison’d by their wives: some sleeping kill’d;
All murder’d: for within the hollow crown
That rounds the mortal temples of a king
Keeps Death his court and there the antic sits,
Scoffing his state and grinning at his pomp,
Allowing him a breath, a little scene,
To monarchize, be fear’d and kill with looks,
Infusing him with self and vain conceit,
As if this flesh which walls about our life,
Were brass impregnable, and humour’d thus
Comes at the last and with a little pin
Bores through his castle wall, and farewell king!
Cover your heads and mock not flesh and blood
With solemn reverence: throw away respect,
Tradition, form and ceremonious duty,
For you have but mistook me all this while:
I live with bread like you, feel want,
Taste grief, need friends: subjected thus,
How can you say to me, I am a king?

I have been watching The Hollow Crown on BBC 2 and found I still remembered the lines from this scene, with my mouth though tight, muttering each line as Ben Whishaw delivered them so full of gust. Now let me just say, I gave up on acting because I found I had much keener hand for writing and directing, so that is what I am sticking to. But, if I am suddenly full of inspiration to perform on stage again, I shall!

–Not a regular post, but I just had to share =]

Sy x

Spiritual Interview | BlackholePancakes

Another fab interview. So far I have done 5 or, with an extra one I have yet to finish =]

Be sure to check her out, I love her words and her videos!

I do have a blog, it’s at http://iretenra.wordpress.com/.

Youtube User: blackholepancakes, but I’ve not had any interest in making more YouTube videos for a while and probably won’t anytime soon. Sorry to all of my subscribers!

What gave you the idea for your username?
Honestly, I just took two random words and put them together.

Have you always been magickal?
It would be hypocritical of me to say that I’m not a magical person, since I believe in heka, or Kemetic “magic,” but I don’t really do spells either. And for a while, I was a non-practicing atheist, so… I’d say no.

What got you started, and why?
I simply fell out of Catholicism. I didn’t believe any of it — or should I say, it didn’t really make sense to me. I didn’t feel any connection with God through it. Then I discovered that Kemeticism is still alive and real, if a small minority religion. Over the years, I’ve tried exploring other faiths, but I always kept coming back to Kemeticism.

Do you see it as something you’ll continue to develop in 5 years or so?
Yes.

If your path didn’t exist, what would you follow?

I’d most likely be an animist. Kemeticism is a form of animism already, so it wouldn’t be too far off. Barring that, a secular humanist, as I was that for six years.

So far, what do you enjoy most about your path?
My close connection with my Patron god. That’s all I really want or need in a religion.

And what are your pet peeves?
Regarding faith/spirituality? Not opening up to knowledge. Not doing research before proclaiming something is true. Close-mindedness and a quickness to judge. Blanket statements.

Now time to get even more personal, what is your secret to staying spiritual?
Not overanalyzing every little thing to the point where it drives me insane. Actually, the secret is to come to an understanding with your god(s). It took a couple of years, but now I’ve reached the point where I don’t need to validate my spirituality with constant practice and displays of practice/knowledge. I just am.

What do you think of labels in a general sense?
I like categorizing things and making things orderly, so I actually like labels. But I don’t think people are meant to be categorized so easily.

And do you think labels such as ‘fluffy bunny’ or ‘flaming pagan’ are okay or harsh? (Fluffy bunny is used to describe new people to the craft, and flaming pagan is used for over the top pagans):
I do not think “fluffy bunny” describes a person new to paganism. I think “fluffy bunny” describes someone new to paganism who refuses to learn, do proper research, or accept advice or others’ opinions. Actually, this webpage describes the term quite nicely:http://wicca.cnbeyer.com/fluffy.shtml

So yes, I think that label is okay.

As for “flaming pagan,” I’ve personally never heard of it before, but I figure that if it’s jokingly used and everyone is okay with it, then that’s fine. If it’s being used derogatively, then that’s not fine.

However, I’m also of the opinion that a lot of people don’t know how to chill and relax, so labels might be taken more derogatively than they really ought to be.

I’ll put you in a scenario. If someone sent you negative energy or went out their way to upset/hurt you, what would you do, and why?
I would tell them to stop being petty and childish, because it’s rude and reprehensible behavior.

Link: http://wicca.cnbeyer.com/fluffy.shtml

Hottest Witches Around

It is 4am! I am tired, but woke up randomly and checked my phone…

I got this from AussieWitch90, a seriously awesome witch and vlogger from Australia. We’ve been conversing for a while now and he is someone who not only reminds me of myself, but someone who understands my kind of witchcraft and freedom. As well as him, Phoenix and other pagans I love, we all have a share faith in something so beautiful that it inspires me everyday.

As for the super cool video, I just had to share it and the links to the vlog channels of the pagans involved. Hark! Enjoy!

 

Links:

http://www.youtube.com/user/AussieWitch90

http://www.youtube.com/user/aquamarinepiscesmoon
http://www.youtube.com/user/lunatone83
http://www.youtube.com/user/KestraFae
http://www.youtube.com/user/mali61605
http://www.youtube.com/user/katz0411
http://www.youtube.com/user/Bramble1976

 

If Dr. Seuss Wrote for Star Trek

Picard:

Sigma Indri, that’s the star.
So, Data, how far? How far?

Data:

Our ship can get there very fast,
but still the trip will last and last.
We’ll have two days till we arrive,
but can the Indrans there survive?

Picard:

LaForge, please give us factor nine.

LaForge:

But sir, the engines are offline!

Picard:

Offline! But why? I want to go!
Please make is so, please make it so!

Riker:

But sir, if Geordi says we can’t,
we can’t, we mustn’t, and we shan’t.
The danger here is far to great.

Picard:

But surely we must not be late!

Troi:

I’m sensing anger and great ire.

Computer:

Alert! Alert! The ship’s on fire!

Picard:

The ship’s on fire? How could this be?
Who lit the fire?

Riker:

Not me.

Worf:

Not me.

Picard:

Computer, how long till we die?

Computer:

Eight minutes left to say goodbye.

Data:

May I suggest a course to take?
We could, I think, quite safely make
extinguishers from tractor beams,
and stop the fire, or so it seems…

Geordi:

Hurray! Hurray! You’ve saved the day!
Again I say, hurray! Hurray!

Picard:

Mr. Data, thank you much.
You’ve saved our lives, our ship, and such.

Troi:

We still must save the Indran planet-

Data:

Which, by the way, is made of granite…

Picard:

Enough, you android. Please desist.
We understand-we get your gist.
But can we get our ship to go?
Please, make it so, please make it so.

Geordi:

There’s sabotage among the wires,
and that’s what started all the fires.

Riker:

We have a saboteur? Oh, no!
We need to go! We need to go!

Troi:

We must seek out the traitor spy,
and lock him up, and ask him why?

Worf:

Ask him why? How sentimental.
I say give him problems dental.

Troi:

Are any Romulan ships around?
Have scanners said that they’ve been found?
Or is it Borg or some new threat
that we haven’t heard of yet?
I sense no malice in this crew.
Now what are we supposed to do?

Crusher:

Captain, please, the Indrans need us.
They cry out, Help us, clothe us, feed us!
I can’t just sit and let them die!
A doctor must attempt-must try!

Picard:

Doctor, please, we’ll get there soon.

Crusher:

They may be dead by Tuesday noon.

*Commercial break, commercial break.
How long will these dumb ads take?*

Worf:

The saboteur is in the brig.
He’s very strong and very big.
I had my phaser set on stun-
A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!
He would not budge, he would not fall.
He would not stun, no, not at all!
He changed into a stranger form,
all soft and purple, round and warm.

Picard:

Did you see this, Mr. Worf?
Did you see this creature morph?

Worf:

I did and then I beat him fairly,
hit him on the jaw-quite squarely.

Riker:

My commendations, Klingon friend!
Our troubles now are at an end.

Crusher:

Now let’s get our ship to fly,
and orbit yonder Indran sky!

Picard:

LaForge, please tell me we can go…?

Geordi:

Yes, sir, we can.

Picard:

Then make it so!

Author Unknown

Blessed Eros Day! Year 2

Blessed Eros Day or Lupercalia to all of you out there (traditionally celebrated from  the 13^th of Feb to the 15^th of Feb)! I hope you have a wonderful day, whether you are in a relationship, in between or single like me. Let today be a day of self love, celebration and pampering. If you like chocolate and wine you may be glad to know about the chocolate wines that are now available, personally I like both but not together! That’s food poisoning waiting to happen. Just to point out, Lupercalia was a time when evil spirits and bad energies were dismissed and sent away, and after those banishing’s as it were, the priests would perform rites for health and fertility for the land and for the people. I use this time to clear my heart of the negative feelings of love in my heart. It takes time, hence why I love the fact it takes a good three days to perform good magick.

Now, for some years the money event that is Valentine’s is sadly misunderstood as the only time of the year you spend enormous amounts of money on your loved one, excluding wedding anniversaries, birthdays and Christmas. I am not one to talk about relationships or love since I have failed miserably and refuse to try again just yet, but I feel that relating one day to the love of your life is weird and a little selfish. I would celebrate love as much as I could, when I could with my love. However, I’ll contradict myself here as a lot of couples lead very busy lives and find it difficult to have a whole day dedicated to themselves, so Valentine’s is perfect. It’s that one time of the year they can recreate that excitement and declare their love to each other.

If I ever get into a relationship in the future I’ll like to bring the original idea of love on this feast day back by celebrating Lupercalia and honouring the deities of love like Eros. For the past year now I have lit a little red or pink candle honouring Eros, and thanking him for keeping my heart open and thanking him for my family and friends. Other than that, I have incense or an oil boiler burning and meditate. In the past I used to ask for love to come my way, but since they have never worked I have decided I shouldn’t chase after something I don’t need right now. I’ll put off the hopeless pining for the future… Hopefully next year or tomorrow I’ll post a photo of my altar set up =] The following I say with my hands open by the sacred fire on my altar either when the sun is up or at night to mark the end of each day, enjoy!

Hymn to Eros (Orphic Hymn 58)

“To Eros (Love), Fumigation from Aromatics. I call, great Eros, the source of sweet delight, holy and pure, and charming to the sight; darting, and winged, impetuous fierce desire, with Gods and mortals playing, wandering fire : agile and twofold, keeper of the keys of heaven and earth, the air, and spreading seas; of all that earth’s fertile realms contains, by which the all parent Goddess life sustains, or dismal Tartaros is doomed to keep, widely extended, or the sounding deep; for thee all nature’s various realms obey, who rulest alone, with universal sway. Come, blessed power, regard these mystic fires, and far avert unlawful mad desires.”

What do you folks do for Lupercalia or Eros Day? What other events do you celebrate on this day besides Valentines?

It’s a very short post today, but I don’t like discussing love for too long as I end up sounding like a lonely old boob and that’s a part of my personality I hope will never stand in a room for too long. At the moment (and I will show you all as soon as it is done – a new tattoo that is) I stand by Plato’s quotation “Love is a serious mental disease.” Love is one of those things… I shall stop; I feel love’s ugly head trying to borrow its way through to the surface…

Check out this post, we have been writing about Eros and Lupercalia since last year and we hope to get a few more people to blog about their celebrations too: Eros Day, Year 2.

This is last years post: http://sycalaelen.wordpress.com/2011/02/15/happy-eros-day-old-skool-valentines/

Happy Lupercalia x x

I Am No Justine! Freedom and Thought So Far

I’m off with the fairies!

Not literally. I’m a magickal kind of girl, but I highly doubt fairies entering my boudoir just to say hello. I’ve been missing for some time, and it just comes down to work and college, and sadly contracting pharyngitis yet again (it’s the pre-curser to tonsillitis, but it’s not as bad so if you get it, go to the doc and rest up). I will get back to Youtube at some point, but I think I need to just stop for a while and only deal with comments and emails. I’m slowly handing out the email address you folks can contact me at, so just comment below requesting it.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been looking into Libertinism due to my sudden re-kindled love of the Marquis de Sade (a quick rendition of his life is below, but read about him online, and watch Quills for a rendition of the last days of his life – Stephen Moyer is in it!). Now, if you know who he is and what he has done with the long life he had I implore you do not turn your lip up at him at too much, just like him a teeny tiny bit. He stood for something that people today take for granted which is ultimate freedom in all things, especially sex, but we shan’t go there. I would never ever think of living my life the way he did, in and out of jail and being dubbed the world famous sexual abuse pervert! However, the basic idea of living your life free from constriction is a value I adhere to. Thank the Gods ‘Harm none’ was a line I could happily live in line with. I want to be as free as I can, especially with my mind, and how I carry myself. I am the annoying girl people hate working with as I love company, talking and debating on various issues, and they don’t. If they could spend a day in total silence and only speaking when putting someone down, they would. Sadly, where I live and work there is no one here I can be myself with, so I wait until I get 5 minutes to go crazy with my friends and lovely best buddy Phoenix and his craziness!

I do day dream about how I wish my life could be, if I finally find the career of my dreams. I would be an eccentric woman, covered in beautiful tattoos, a great love of being a mild hippy and spending non-alcoholic weekends with films, spells and a circle of friends who would be freaks like me. Have any of you ever thought of an ideal world, where you would adopt many beliefs and thoughts to create your mind, to go as far as living them as much as you could? I know that’s a long question, but like I said there is no one here I can ask, and get a decent enough answer, besides my philosophy teacher and students. So answer! Please…

*  *  *

My Super Quick Introduction to the Marquis de Sade

First things first, he was a libertine and his life also mirrored that of individualism. He is most famous for his works, one of which was turned into a movie over a hundred years after his death and was banned; that work is called The 120 Days of Sodom, which is not for the faint of heart at all! It is gruesome in so many ways, but I admire him because he did something most people are either naively shunned from by other people, or they just react so quickly that they fail to see the message. He also, anonymously published Juliette and another book titled Justine which was so shocking that they pissed Napoleon off and he ordered for the writer to be executed. He spent more than half of his life in asylums and prisons. He came from a prestigious family, but the way that he lived his life is shocking. If I ever met him I’d probably ask him what was wrong with his head, run away and hide, taking all the children of the city with me, but sit and read his stories just to get firsthand knowledge of he wrote.

 *  *  *

Don’t go assuming I’m a weird pervert or anything, I just happen to find out about him during my first year of film school and I guess I liked his philosophical view, which I think went along the lines of – Whatever you think you should shield from view will be made apparent by other forces, and if you think you should try to control the masses you will only fail. Some people are naive and will jump on any band wagon that comes by, whilst others will gain their own mind, but it’s down to the individual in how they choose to live their lives. Some by crime and the uttermost nastiness in order to satisfy themselves, or people like me live to the fullest with morals and the common sense that we feel everyone else should have. However you choose to live is up to you. – I think that’s right…?

x

Natural Sleep Aid Recipe [Videos]

Last night I uploaded a video on one of my favourite natural recipes for sleep, found in Grow Your Own Drugs by James Wong. I had been trying it for a good year or so and I just had to share it with you folks. The idea of using hops was new to me, as I don’t like to drink beer as it tastes funny, but after watching the clip (below) from the TV series I knew I wanted to try it. It’s a very easy recipe, so get your foraging kit ready and go get some supplies!

I’m off to buy new herbs for my shelf… G. Baldwin & Co. here I come!